One of the biggest misconceptions about creating healthy self-esteem in children is that praise is the priority ingredient in building it. An unintended outcome of praise can actually be to deplete self-esteem. Why? Because too much praise causes children to become dependent on what other people think, instead of focusing on what makes them happy and how they feel about themselves and their actions. Praise promotes pleasing others and relying on others for validation.

So what do you do instead to build self-esteem and help raise confident children?

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

A big revelation for me as a parent dramatically changed how I parented. Now, after two decades as a parenting instructor and parent coach, it turns out this same factor is a common blind spot for many parents.

But before I share this realization, ask yourself a few questions: Is my child disrespectful? And do I take my child's strong-willed behavior personally and react? Is my preteen talking back? Am I a bad parent? Do I feel helpless in knowing appropriate limits? Does my teen rebel, and is teenage rebellion normal?

Estimated reading time: 5 minutes ♥Practice and mastery of parenting [...]

In the past three decades as a parent, parent educator, and behavioral consultant, I have discussed the subject of spanking with droves of parents. Some parents still advocate spanking; many more are ambivalent or hesitant about spanking but still use it as a form of discipline. In fact, 50% of parents of toddlers still spank.

Why? Because it works, right? No, because it works in the short term. We like quick fixes, and we want to see immediate results. Besides, immediate obedience equals respect, doesn't it? Find out the effects of spanking on a child's brain and development with recent [...]

Parenting is a difficult and complex job. No one who has ever been a parent will argue this point. However, one of the reasons that parenting is so hard is not because children are difficult but because we do not know how to parent consciously from a free place. When we are able to modulate our own emotions and reactions in response to their behavior, we can then respond from a much more loving place.

Every holiday season, I tell myself that I’m going to get Christmas shopping done early so I can focus on spending quality time with my family. Sound familiar? It doesn’t always happen, but I’ve found that setting an intention to create rituals that support that goal is helpful. It’s easy to lose sight of the spirit of Christmas (or Hanukkah) when our to-do and shopping lists devour our time, energy, and pocketbooks.

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

A woman came to me with a caring question on how to alleviate the stress of a major move with small children. She had a friend in the midst of moving who had a 3-year-old son in tow and had been acting out a lot. She asked, "Do you have any suggestions that might help make their move easier?"

Estimated reading time: 3 minutes

Parents often tell me they don't understand why their preteens react over "nothing" or why their teens are so disrespectful and "in your face." Teenage emotions run the gamut. They can range from elation to depression, from giddiness to gloom, from sullenness to intense anger, and quickly from pouting to a blowup. So how does a parent help a teen deal with their emotions effectively?

Teaching emotional intelligence to teens is a monumental task given their raging hormones, a brain still under construction, school pressures, peer influence, cultural mixed messages, and tech addiction. It's no [...]

A common power struggle for parents of toddlers is getting them  into their car seat, especially when the parent is in a rush—or with strong willed children.

One parent of a two-year-old daughter in my parenting class said that every time she tried to put her daughter in her car seat, she kicked and screamed. Sometimes she cried the entire trip to the daycare!Estimated reading time: 3 minutes

Father’s Day is a reoccurring tribute to dads—important for children and families. Recently, as I passed the gift section in Barnes & Noble, I was reminded of my favorite gift to my own father as a teenager—a handmade perpetual calendar. I wrote quips and quotes (specially selected for my dad) on blank index cards and meticulously decorated each one. Then I carefully laminated them with clear contact paper and mounted them on a Rolodex. It was fun for the first 198 days or so, but 365!

Estimated reading time: 3 minutes

I have a fear, and I don’t believe there is a medical term for it yet. Although it most likely exists among other childrearing folks. It’s the fear of placing my kids in public situations, such as restaurants, weddings, airplanes, and holiday parties, even if they say they are the “kid-friendly” kind.

Estimated reading time: 3 minutes