Heartmanity's Blog

When or if your teenager starts to act out and rebel, it can be difficult to know what to do as a parent. You can feel like you're losing control of your teen when dealing with teenage rebellion and disrespect. It’s true, teens sometimes engage in risky behaviors that terrify their parents, so your concern is justified. However, many parents overreact by immediately taking away their smartphone or grounding their teen “for a year!” These reactions can backfire by increasing oppositional behavior or creating ruptures in your relationship.

So, how do you best support and help your teenager [...]

Have you ever asked yourself as a parent, "What does a normal teenager act like?" Teenage rebellion and defiance are common challenges that parents often navigate. On top of teenage push-back are social media and smartphones competing with the teen-parent connection. (Or shall I say "screen addiction"?) As a parent coach and parenting instructor, I get scores of S.O.S. calls from parents. Many parents are fearful and remark, "Where did my 'sweet child' go?!"

So is teen rebellion normal? And what is dramatically outside the realm of healthy development and accompanying behaviors? Let's [...]

People-pleasing behavior is fraught with many emotional land mines: resentment, exhaustion, losing touch with our needs, seeking to be liked while giving up our desires and dreams, repressing emotions, and the impossible task of keeping everyone happy (to name just a few). Every parent I’ve worked with who identifies themselves as people-pleasers asks, “what can I do to ensure that my child doesn’t become a people pleaser like me?” I’ve never met any parent who aspires to raise compliant pleasers.

Estimated reading time: 7 minutes

Having taught parenting classes for over 20 years and coached scores of children, parents, and families for just as long, I’ve heard many stories from parents riddled with guilt and worry. Parenting is hard enough without feeling doubt and judging ourselves. The one question that is asked more times than you can imagine is “Am I a bad mom?” or “Am I a bad dad?”

There are many versions of this concern, and it isn’t reserved for any particular developmental stage or parental season. At one time or another, every parent questions whether they are up for the job! And when doubt creeps in, it [...]

Do you know the recipe for keeping your relationship with your preteen and teen strong and healthy? As a parent, are you aware of the critical responses needed to support and ensure vital teen brain development? Simple and crucial parental responses can make the difference.

Estimated reading time: 5 minutes

"You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today." ~Abraham Lincoln

All parents want to raise responsible, self-reliant children—but getting there doesn't happen overnight. It takes years of nurturing to prepare our kids for a life of independence. Not only do we need to actively teach our children responsibility, but we also need to model the behaviors we want to see. And it's also important to avoid making critical parenting mistakes that could undermine our goal of raising independent kids.

One of the most challenging times in life is when your child hits the teenage years. Parenting teens is as much a rite of passage for you as it is for your teen. It’s when your sweet, agreeable child turns grumpy and often rebellious, pushing you away seemingly overnight.

I’ll never forget my own experience as a first-time parent of a teenager. During one incredibly difficult time, my 14-year-old son and I had just had an argument, and he stormed off abruptly. My daughter, who was five years younger, had witnessed the whole blow-up. As she saw the tears welling in my eyes, she looked up at me [...]

Many parents come to me because they’re concerned about their children’s coping skills. It’s clear that a lot of parents are at a loss for how to teach their children resilience. Let’s face it. Raising kids in today’s world is tough. Tech addictions, drugs, anxiety, depression, food disorders, and suicide are prevalent—is it any wonder that parents worry?

As a parent coach, what I repeatedly see are parents who don’t know how to feel, who don’t give themselves or their children permission to feel.

Why is this a problem? Because without emotional literacy, self-awareness, and emotional [...]

Parenting today's teens is challenging. Many parents even dread raising teenagers because they've often heard negative, even scary stories over the years from other parents. As a culture, we think we've got teenagers pegged—uncontrollable, disrespectful, and rebellious. The big question is: "Is adolescent rebellion avoidable?"

Estimated reading time: 5 minutes

It’s easy to get wrapped up in the stress of hectic day-to-day activities with our families and children and fail to do our best parenting. Maintaining a work-life balance is tricky when raising a family and our values can get trampled by everyday demands. And we can all too easily react to our children’s testy (and testing!) behavior without even thinking.

Parenting is a big responsibility, and there are no perfect parents, so reactions are natural. However, knee-jerk reactions often give our children unhelpful messages that don't teach them how to become capable, happy adults.

Estimated [...]