Heartmanity's Blog

It’s easy to get wrapped up in the stress of hectic day-to-day activities with our families and children and fail to do our best parenting. Maintaining a work-life balance is tricky when raising a family and our values can get trampled by everyday demands. And we can all too easily react to our children’s testy (and testing!) behavior without even thinking.

Parenting is a big responsibility, and there are no perfect parents, so reactions are natural. However, knee-jerk reactions often give our children unhelpful messages that don't teach them how to become capable, happy adults.

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An excellent article, "Yep, Life'll Burst That Self-Esteem Bubble,"* eloquently outlined some of the flaws in the self-esteem movement that originated in the '70s and '80s.  This topic caught my eye because I work every day with many very sincere and eager parents and observe how the building blocks of self-esteem often elude them. In one of my latest coaching sessions, we talked about how self-esteem is constructed and the difference between external and internal motivation.

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You’re in a grocery store and your 5-year-old wants a candy bar at the checkout stand. You calmly but firmly say no. Before you can turn back to the checkout person, your child is on the floor kicking and screaming! What do you do?

Of course, many parents in this situation are mortified, and the child knows it. “If he would just control himself!” you think. But the child has you in the grips of emotional tyranny. He's not at all interested in learning self-control or saving you a possible embarrassment. However, the child does know there’s a chance that his ploy might actually work. Besides, [...]

Toddler behavior is one of the most delightful yet sometimes infuriating experiences of all time. Parenting a toddler with limits yet without squelching their vital energy and spirit requires a combination of skill, patience, and love. And toddler behavior problems tire even the best of parents!

So what is normal toddler behavior? As a new mom or even for a veteran mom, how do you know what is healthy autonomy sprouting? And how do you redirect a child's behavior compassionately, though firmly? Keep reading to learn tips for redirecting children's behavior and increase more parenting ease and [...]

Years ago, a mom told me of a time when she was on an important phone call and her three-year-old son kept bugging her. In desperation, she went to the fridge, reached for a jar of jelly, took off the top, and handed it to him. Delighted, he sat gobbling up the entire jar of jelly with his fingers while she finished her call.

We've all been there as parents. However, bribery and concessions are short-term solutions. They send the wrong message, and they can cause more power struggles and difficulties later. Kids quickly figure out that if they whine or bug you long enough and loud enough, [...]