How to Improve Emotional Intelligence in 3 Simple Steps

January 14, 2021

2020 has (finally) concluded—and it's been a doozy, hasn't it? We may not have been able to control the unexpected events of COVID, but hopefully, you were still able to achieve some of the goals you set for yourself at the beginning of last year.

As the new year is in its infancy, people naturally think about goal setting. Setting and writing down goals with a plan to achieve them has been shown to increase the likelihood of their attainment. Historically, the most popular New Year's resolutions have had to do with exercise and dieting. But instead of only improving your physical fitness [...]

Posted in Emotional Intelligence & Fitness

Boundaries Protect and Support Your Blended Family

December 16, 2020

When my husband and I got together, children were brought into my life for the first time. Once married, the adjustment to living and interacting with two children was a steep learning curve for me. Navigating daily life together, communicating between households, and adapting to different routines all required constant adjustment, and still does nearly four years later. It was evident very quickly that boundaries were necessary for our blended family dynamic. Healthy boundaries shaped the development of my marriage, my interactions with the children, and our relationship with the [...]

Posted in Perfectly Imperfect Parenting, Emotional Intelligence & Fitness

Inner Peace Requires You to Be Present with Self-Compassion

December 11, 2020

“Gotta pick up the kids from school.” “Gotta get this report done by tomorrow.” “Gotta shop for dinner.” “Gotta pay the bills!” “Gotta get to the gym and lose this extra weight.” Gotta, gotta, gotta.

A lack of work-life balance and the need to get somewhere are themes I hear frequently. We are seekers. And personal transformation is high on the list for many. Yet, we are often unaware that we are reaching for something, even if it's self-growth. While ignoring what is happening right now within ourselves and around us, the present moment evades us.

Posted in Brain Fitness, Mindfulness and Perspective, Emotional Intelligence & Fitness

An Unexpected Place to Discover Love and Resilience

November 12, 2020

Resilience is defined as the capacity to recover quickly from hardship or difficulties. We've all known difficulties. However, it is how we respond to what happens to us that determines how we greet the future. It is what we make our experiences mean that influence our lives. It's our response to adversity, not the experience itself, that determines how our life story evolves.

Without resiliency, life's hardships weigh us down, and we become an unbending tree that breaks off in the high winds of a storm.

Posted in Emotional Intelligence & Fitness

Why You Need to Replace People-Pleasing with Kindness

October 01, 2020

Most people think when they please someone, their action is kind. Yes, their action may impact others positively. It feels good for a person to do things for us, to help us out in a time of need, to volunteer on a committee, or watch our kids for a couple of hours. However, if this act of supposed kindness is wrong or even hurtful to the giver, it’s not kindness. It’s people-pleasing. People-pleasing is a habit that undermines authentic connection in relationships and cuts the pleaser off from their true self, limiting individual potential. Each of us needs to set boundaries to be at our [...]

Posted in Emotional Intelligence & Fitness

Blame: A Lazy Response to Avoid Responsibility

September 26, 2020

We are all too familiar with the blame game. When we’re upset or exasperated in life, blaming our spouse, child, friend, or boss is an easy route to relief. You know the drill: “If you wouldn’t procrastinate fixing things around the house, then I wouldn’t nag.” Or if you weren’t so sensitive, we could discuss things calmer.” And sometimes a person moves to name-calling: “You’re so frustrating or selfish or hurtful or ….” In the moment, we feel a release of pent-up energy and uncomfortable emotions. But the thing is, I’ve never heard anyone say they enjoy being blamed or that they liked [...]

Posted in Emotional Intelligence & Fitness, Emotional Intelligence

Minimalism: Is It Bad for Your Business and Your Life?

September 22, 2020

Is the concept of minimalism a limiting framework? To me, minimalism appeared simply to be the denial of our desires. Since our brains are built on the premise of more, better, and always transcending yesterday, the concept seemed like a trendy girdle to hold back the grand expressions of self-expression. At the very least, I viewed a minimalist life as boring because of my love affair with abundance, flow, variety, and beauty.

Posted in Brain Fitness, Mindfulness and Perspective, Emotional Intelligence & Fitness

Struggling with Anxiety? Learn How to Calm Yourself

September 14, 2020

Whether you are aware of it or not, unmanaged emotions often hijack your energy and behavior, causing a distorted view of life's experiences. And our knee-jerk reactions rarely give us good results. Understanding what's happening in our brains can pave the way for calmer responses. The limbic brain (sometimes considered the emotional brain) and the brain stem, (called the survival brain), can quickly override rational thinking. Logic goes out the window instantly when we are feeling threatened emotionally.

Emotional regulation is crucial for today's unrest and ongoing challenges. Learning [...]

Posted in Emotional Intelligence & Fitness

Why Do People Take Out Their Anger on Others? And What to Do About It!

September 10, 2020

Note: In this post, when we talk about "safety," we're referring to emotional safety. If someone's anger makes you feel physically unsafe, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.

What do you do when someone takes their anger out on you? How do you handle angry people? And why do people get angry in the first place?

It's natural to have lots of questions when faced with anger, but often what we're searching for isn't answers—it's safety. Anger threatens our sense of emotional security, leaving us feeling uncertain about our relationships with others.

Posted in Emotional Intelligence & Fitness

Being a People Pleaser Does Not Make You Kind

July 28, 2020

A pervasive pattern has quietly invaded our culture—people-pleasing. Compliance and pleasing are woven into the very fabric of etiquette and social norms. Children quickly discover that pleasing their caregivers and keeping them happy pays off and prevents unpleasant consequences. Children need to be loved and cared for to survive; their basic needs drive them to acquiesce in thousands of ways. Adults are bigger, faster, smarter, and stronger, so it’s often futile to go against the grain. This behavior is natural for children dependent on adults, yet, when this habit persists into [...]

Posted in Emotional Intelligence & Fitness