Heartmanity's Blog

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” Maya Angelou

From everyday challenges to traumatic events with long-term impacts, life comes with difficulties. Resilience is what helps you adapt to these stressful situations. Psychologists define resilience as the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or significant sources of stress such as family or relationship problems, serious health problems, or workplace and financial stressors. 

Anger can be a tough emotion to navigate whether you’re angry at yourself or someone is lashing out in anger at you. It’s natural to want to protect ourselves when someone is reacting in anger. And, of course, self-advocacy and safety are crucial. We don’t ever want to tolerate emotional abuse in any form or in any relationship.

But can we build confidence and learn skills to hold a safe space for angry outbursts? Is it possible to diffuse anger and better love those in our lives?

Most of you have likely heard of a vision board, a collection of images and words representing your goals and aspirations, strategically placed so you can see it frequently and imprint these positive ideas onto your subconscious mind. But what you may not understand is how your brain science works in conjunction with a vision board to increase its effectiveness. Creating an online vision board is a helpful tool in manifesting your dreams. 

Re-programming our subconscious is an essential step in reaching a goal or changing a habit. Visualizing and mental rehearsing of a positive result [...]

I’ve become very adept at recognizing when my anxiety has reached beyond a healthy level, a critical awareness to manage stress. What are the symptoms? I can feel the blood rushing, and my heart feels like it is beating out of my chest. Thoughts seem to swim through my head, and my breathing becomes shallow—I feel as though I am on fire. It can happen very suddenly, and there I am, awash in emotion.

“Don’t aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater.” — Viktor Frankl

We often pursue our goals with a lot of focus on the perceived destination. Viktor Frankl is elegantly sharing that it is healthier for us to focus on being present-minded while also organically exploring our values and what motivates us internally. Of course, having goals and something to aim at is very healthy [...]

I procrastinated writing this article. The irony runs deep. Even after I completed my research and could begin, I still put it off. You would think the topic alone would be enough to light a fire under my fingers, not wanting to be my own example of what not to do, but no, just the opposite, which ironically is the nature of procrastination. Let’s dig in.

Being able to step back and evaluate your emotions and reactions while regulating your responses are signs of emotional intelligence in a leader. The capacity to recognize and effectively manage personal emotions in ourselves and others are all critical abilities in business and leadership. However, emotional intelligence skills are generally not taught when gaining degrees for the business world, such as architecture school. Emotional intelligence (or EQ for Emotional Quotient) can be learned, though, which my husband found out as a business owner.

When my son was around nine, I moved in with my current husband. His two kids were with us two days a week and every other weekend. My son, who was living with his dad, was with us on the corresponding weekends. He loved his stepbrother dearly; they were instant and close friends from the start.

I still don't know what prompted it, but one day they got into an altercation, and my son stomped on his stepbrother’s neck. I was in shock and disbelief. My emotions raged, every cell on high alert. Once I knew my stepson was ok, I swept my son outside and around the block for a walk. Again, I was [...]

With many families, unfortunately, a lack of boundaries is the norm. In many cases, these types of families are idealized as “tight-knit” in television shows and movies. But an overbearing mother insinuating that it’s time to provide her with grandchildren, or a sibling who wants to spend all your free time together (and gets upset when you go out with friends), can be more than characters on-screen. For many people, it is their reality, and disrespected boundaries strain relationships.

All familial relationships can be challenging at times, but a lack of boundaries can make them even [...]

Years ago, when a friend and I would meet for lunch, somehow, it always turned into a meal of complaints or a conversation orbiting around the critique of others. I’d walk away from the luncheon splattered with the emotional mud of gossip, feeling disappointed and reticent to get together in the future. It could be months before we got together again, partly because of the heavy feeling in my heart.

However, I ached for relationships that challenged me to be my best self and held me accountable to be kind and loving. To create trustworthy relationships that were strong enough to handle [...]