People-Pleasing Compliance—a Felony Against Self

August 15, 2019

"Sure, I'd be happy to watch your dog for the weekend." "Absolutely, you can count on me for that fundraiser." "No problem—I'll help decorate the kids' lockers for the big game!" "Sure, I'll help you finish that project and stay at the office until it's done!"

It's so easy to say yes, isn't it? Before we even think, agreement and caring responses slide off our tongues. But do you agree with someone and then regret it? It's true, we are creatures of habit. And if you're in the habit of being a people pleaser, it's a habit you may be looking to break up with!

Often people pleasers are well [...]

Posted in Emotional Intelligence & Fitness

Why Should You Care About Emotional Regulation?

July 30, 2019

Emotions. They can get the best of us, sometimes triggering primitive, short-sighted and impulsive actions. Yet, unlike animals, humans have the ability to express and choose their emotions, as well as anticipate how other people will respond. Our emotional nature can be confusing and overwhelming with many conflicting emotions swirling simultaneously; therefore, emotional regulation is key.

When regulated, emotions provide us important information. If we approach them with a curious and accepting attitude, they can be used to avert danger, solve problems, and bring us comfort. [...]

Posted in Emotional Intelligence & Fitness

Self-Compassion and Acceptance Can Ease Anxiety

July 09, 2019

I was a thumb sucker. I needed soothing right from the start.

As a small child I would rub my thumbs and fingers together, back and forth, incessantly. It drove my family and friends crazy, yet no matter how much they asked me to stop, I couldn’t. I didn’t understand my behavior, and I certainly didn’t know how to manage it. All I knew was that I couldn’t stop, no matter how much I wanted to.

As I grew older, this particular behavior dissipated, but the feelings didn’t. Instead, they turned into continuous, overwhelming, and negative self-talk. Without realizing it, I had turned on myself [...]

Posted in Emotional Intelligence & Fitness

Do We Need to Experience Love to Be Loving?

May 09, 2019

"Forgiveness" is a term used so often that few people question its intrinsic value. You'd probably agree that asking for and offering forgiveness has become common practice. Just like many others, I was taught growing up that when you hurt someone—even accidentally—the right thing to do is to say you're sorry and ask for forgiveness. Children quickly learn when adults expect an apology, even when a child may have lacked the skill to respond differently.

Many may be surprised for me to question the long and treasured tradition of forgiveness and how we view love in the context of forgiving [...]

Posted in Emotional Intelligence & Fitness, Most Popular

Giving Yourself Permission to Feel Will Cultivate Inner Freedom

April 14, 2019

Recently, I've been facilitating a women's group, and the group has reminded me of how difficult it can be for people to be present to where they are and allow themselves to feel. Emotions can be so overwhelming, especially the heavier feelings. One of the hardest challenges for a person is to be burdened by a stockpile of unpleasant, charged emotions—but instead of feeling them, the person judges them, censors them, beats himself or herself up over even having them, and dutifully says, “I shouldn't feel this way; I have so much to be grateful for."

Posted in Emotional Intelligence & Fitness

Tired of Being Overweight? Lose Weight with a New Viewpoint on an Old Problem

March 05, 2019

Are you struggling to get motivated and unable to lose weight? Does it feel like you’ve tried everything with no results?! It is discouraging at best.

You’re not alone. It’s difficult for many people, including myself, to stay dedicated to a lifestyle that promotes health and fitness. Our schedules are crazy busy, and it takes discipline and consistency to develop habits. But is that all that’s going on?

Posted in Emotional Intelligence & Fitness

Get Motivated!  7 Ways to Overcome Procrastination

February 05, 2019

Let’s first get this out of the way—life in modern times is demanding, no matter where you are in your life and career. The escalating demands on our time and attention are astronomical. If you thought that it was only you feeling frazzled, it’s not! All of us need to mindfully keep ourselves encouraged and learn to stay motivated in purposeful action, not just get busier.Regardless of your circumstances, you’ll want to replenish your supply of motivation as often as you need it. Whether you wish to get your life on track, stay on top of procrastination, or find an ideal life-work balance, [...]

Posted in Emotional Intelligence & Fitness

Empathy Is the Antidote for Apathy and Indifference

November 27, 2018

Whether it's a friend, spouse, or a co-worker, the unknown of another's emotions can make us very uneasy even if we desire to support the person. Sometimes it's just easier to remain on our own island and ensure safety and predictability. Empathy bridges that gap.

Do you steer away from those "soft" feelings because they might take you places you are unprepared to go? Do others’ reactions and charged emotions make you uncomfortable? Are you concerned that you'll be sucked into an abyss of someone else's pain? After all, some days you might be barely dealing with life's challenges.

At a [...]

Posted in Emotional Intelligence & Fitness

Why You Should Stop Being a People Pleaser

October 23, 2018

Recently, I quoted Ayn Rand to someone close to me, and the person quickly retorted that I couldn't possibly buy into her philosophy. Their fervent response surprised me, so I inquired what he meant. The answer unfolded a fascinating discussion.

Posted in Emotional Intelligence & Fitness, Boost Your Emotional Intelligence

How to Understand and Overcome Jealousy

August 23, 2018

Jealousy is a misunderstood and harshly judged emotion. Who likes to admit to jealousy? And when was the last relationship you heard about that relished their husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend being jealous? Jealousy can destroy relationships and eat away at us from the inside out. However, at one time or another, most people feel its sting.

Posted in Emotional Intelligence & Fitness