Have you ever tried looking for your reflection in a lake with white-capped waves? Nope. We don’t do that, do we, because we know we wouldn’t be able to see our reflection.
Teenage rebellion and angst can create a lot of waves in our relationship with our teen. So much so that parents can react fiercely in knee-jerk ways that backfire and fixate rebellion. Like it or not, it's a teen's job to push the limits and to individuate.