Heartmanity's Blog

When my son was only two, he and I had just picked up a vanilla sponge cake from the bakery, a special order for a friend’s surprise birthday party. I carefully tucked the square white box on the floor between the two front seats of our family minivan. Parking in our driveway, I unhooked the quick-release on my son’s car seat so he could climb down, and I got out of the van to help him out.

Opening the sliding door, I was shocked to find him sitting proudly on the cake box with a big grin on his face. With his adorable toddler sweetness, he squealed, “It’s a perfect size seat for me, Mom!” [...]

When you wake up in the morning, is your mind racing? Do you fret about what other people think of you? Do you feel anxious, no matter how hard you try to stay calm?

Are you impatient with your impatience?

Luckily, the idea that you should always feel a sense of well-being and inner peace is a misconception. Life happens. Your spouse works late. Children get sick. You get a flat tire on your way to work. A friend hurts your feelings. You lose a pet or a loved one.

Feeling peaceful or having emotional well being has nothing to do with what happens to us; it’s about learning the art of [...]

Last year was a whirlwind year. As the retrospectives start rolling in, it doesn’t take much to floor me. Did all that really happen in 2019? Has it only been one year?

Author José Saramago wrote this about time: “You never know beforehand what people are capable of, you have to wait, give it time, it's time that rules, time is our gambling partner on the other side of the table and it holds all the cards of the deck in its hand, we have to guess the winning cards of life, our lives.”

You never know what a year is capable of.

"Sure, I'd be happy to watch your dog for the weekend." "Absolutely, you can count on me for that fundraiser." "No problem—I'll help decorate the kids' lockers for the big game!" "Sure, I'll help you finish that project and stay at the office until it's done!"

It's so easy to say yes, isn't it? Before we even think, agreement and caring responses slide off our tongues. But do you agree with someone and then regret it? It's true, we are creatures of habit. And if you're in the habit of being a people pleaser, it's a habit you may be looking to break up with!

Often people pleasers are well [...]

How would your life be different if you could have regular support, deep connection, and inspiration that you could count on?

Life without love and friendship is empty. Work without support, collaboration, and a shared vision make for a lonely path. As human beings, we are wired for relationship, and connecting is crucial. Families, businesses, and communities disintegrate without genuine connection. Happier living requires connection with oneself and each other!

Sure, we can climb the mountain of life alone, but it's not as safe and isn't nearly as fun! Going it alone isn't what we need [...]

Emotions. They can get the best of us, sometimes triggering primitive, short-sighted and impulsive actions. Yet, unlike animals, humans have the ability to express and choose their emotions, as well as anticipate how other people will respond. Our emotional nature can be confusing and overwhelming with many conflicting emotions swirling simultaneously; therefore, emotional regulation is key.

When regulated, emotions provide us important information. If we approach them with a curious and accepting attitude, they can be used to avert danger, solve problems, and bring us comfort. [...]

I was a thumb sucker. I needed soothing right from the start.

As a small child I would rub my thumbs and fingers together, back and forth, incessantly. It drove my family and friends crazy, yet no matter how much they asked me to stop, I couldn’t. I didn’t understand my behavior, and I certainly didn’t know how to manage it. All I knew was that I couldn’t stop, no matter how much I wanted to.

As I grew older, this particular behavior dissipated, but the feelings didn’t. Instead, they turned into continuous, overwhelming, and negative self-talk. Without realizing it, I had turned on myself [...]

"Forgiveness" is a term used so often that few people question its intrinsic value. You'd probably agree that asking for and offering forgiveness has become common practice. Just like many others, I was taught growing up that when you hurt someone—even accidentally—the right thing to do is to say you're sorry and ask for forgiveness. Children quickly learn when adults expect an apology, even when a child may have lacked the skill to respond differently.

Many may be surprised for me to question the long and treasured tradition of forgiveness and how we view love in the context of forgiving [...]

Recently, I've been facilitating a women's group, and the group has reminded me of how difficult it can be for people to allow themselves to feel. Emotions can be so overwhelming, especially the heavier feelings, but with practice it can be a great resource to happiness. Give yourself permission to feel. Give yourself permission to be happy everyday.

One of the hardest challenges for a person is to be burdened by a stockpile of unpleasant, charged emotions—but instead of feeling them, the person judges them, censors them, beats himself or herself up over even having them, and dutifully [...]

Are you struggling to get motivated and unable to lose weight? Does it feel like you’ve tried everything with no results?! It is discouraging at best.

You’re not alone. It’s difficult for many people, including myself, to stay dedicated to a lifestyle that promotes health and fitness. Our schedules are crazy busy, and it takes discipline and consistency to develop habits. But is that all that’s going on?