Heartmanity's Blog

Overcoming is an oxymoron. We are in charge of our lives, so when we say we want to overcome a bad habit, we’re actually saying that we are giving our power to something that we don’t approve of. We can’t “overcome” ourselves. Real and lasting change comes from self-love and acceptance.

So why do we keep doing things that we know are detrimental to our health? For example, a sugar addiction, lack of exercise, or working too much. Why do we keep NOT doing things we know would be good for our health and happiness: eating healthy foods, running, meditation, saving money, etc.? The same holds [...]

Do you know what motivates you? Does it ever seem like some people are more motivated than others? And what's the difference between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation anyway? 

Whether you're trying to motivate yourself to write a term paper, to lose weight, or you're an employer endeavoring to motivate an employee, it's critical knowing what turns on the green light in the brain. And motivation is unique depending on temperament, values, past experience, and goals.

There is no denying that the Coronavirus at our doorstep has disrupted our lives, and many are feeling powerless. When considering how I could best support people, I decided to offer practical tools to help ground you into a sense of well-being despite this stressful time. These tips and skills can assist you in dealing effectively with uncertainty, negative thoughts, and the uncomfortable emotions of worry, anxiety, and fear.

Have you ever been in a situation where another person's behavior really set you off? Perhaps your co-worker took credit for one of your ideas, or your spouse talked over you and quickly dismissed your feelings, or maybe a good friend betrayed your confidence. You can’t contain your emotional reaction and feel justified in lashing out because of what someone else did.

Life appears to happen to us. It’s easy to feel like our quality of life is determined by things out of our control. But what if that's not true? What if the things that happen to us, and how we react to them, are simply a [...]

Have you ever had a friend or co-worker fill the air with complaints? Do you catch yourself complaining too much? Or has negative thinking become a bad habit?

Life can feel like we're scrambling to escape an avalanche of demands and a series of endless to-do lists. And when we're stressed, it's easy to find fault or pinpoint what's wrong, but if we get in the habit of complaining, it starts to create a dark cloud around us and our lives. And did you know that complaints wire our brains to favor negativity and negative self-talk, which then increases the likelihood of more of the same?

When my son was only two, he and I had just picked up a vanilla sponge cake from the bakery, a special order for a friend’s surprise birthday party. I carefully tucked the square white box on the floor between the two front seats of our family minivan. Parking in our driveway, I unhooked the quick-release on my son’s car seat so he could climb down, and I got out of the van to help him out.

Opening the sliding door, I was shocked to find him sitting proudly on the cake box with a big grin on his face. With his adorable toddler sweetness, he squealed, “It’s a perfect size seat for me, Mom!” [...]

When you wake up in the morning, is your mind racing? Do you fret about what other people think of you? Do you feel anxious, no matter how hard you try to stay calm?

Are you impatient with your impatience?

Luckily, the idea that you should always feel a sense of well-being and inner peace is a misconception. Life happens. Your spouse works late. Children get sick. You get a flat tire on your way to work. A friend hurts your feelings. You lose a pet or a loved one.

Feeling peaceful or having emotional well being has nothing to do with what happens to us; it’s about learning the art of [...]

Last year was a whirlwind year. As the retrospectives start rolling in, it doesn’t take much to floor me. Did all that really happen in 2019? Has it only been one year?

Author José Saramago wrote this about time: “You never know beforehand what people are capable of, you have to wait, give it time, it's time that rules, time is our gambling partner on the other side of the table and it holds all the cards of the deck in its hand, we have to guess the winning cards of life, our lives.”

You never know what a year is capable of.

"Sure, I'd be happy to watch your dog for the weekend." "Absolutely, you can count on me for that fundraiser." "No problem—I'll help decorate the kids' lockers for the big game!" "Sure, I'll help you finish that project and stay at the office until it's done!"

It's so easy to say yes, isn't it? Before we even think, agreement and caring responses slide off our tongues. But do you agree with someone and then regret it? It's true, we are creatures of habit. And if you're in the habit of being a people pleaser, it's a habit you may be looking to break up with!

Often people pleasers are well [...]

How would your life be different if you could have regular support, deep connection, and inspiration that you could count on?

Life without love and friendship is empty. Work without support, collaboration, and a shared vision make for a lonely path. As human beings, we are wired for relationship, and connecting is crucial. Families, businesses, and communities disintegrate without genuine connection. Happier living requires connection with oneself and each other!

Sure, we can climb the mountain of life alone, but it's not as safe and isn't nearly as fun! Going it alone isn't what we need [...]