Are You a People Pleaser Seeking Approval?

January 14, 2020

People pleasing was a way of life for me. Pleasing others convinced me that I was a kind and giving person. Then one evening, I was brainstorming with my daughter topics for a school paper. I loved helping and enjoyed brainstorming, but as quickly as my ideas popped out of my mouth, she shot them down for one reason or another. After a few minutes of feeling rejected, I said to her, “If every idea I suggest meets with rejection, what’s the point of me giving ideas?” Her reply: “Do you only give ideas to get approval?”

Ouch! This little interchange impacted me deeply. My daughter’s poignant [...]

Posted in Brain Fitness, Mindfulness and Perspective

The 3 Types of Empathy Explained: Part III, Compassionate Empathy

January 09, 2020

The adage, “think with your head, not with your heart,” would make you think that emotional empathy (Part I of this series) and cognitive empathy (Part II of this series) cannot coexist. Luckily, that’s not true! When the heart and mind meet in the middle, the third type of empathy comes alive—Compassionate Empathy.

Compassionate empathy is the antithesis of knee-jerk reactions and it is often the ideal response to challenging situations as this skill blends intellect, emotion, and action by considering the whole person. By developing compassionate empathy, you’ll go beyond a simple [...]

Posted in Emotional Intelligence, How to Build Empathy

The 3 Types of Empathy Explained: Part II, Cognitive Empathy

January 07, 2020

Welcome to the second part of the in-depth series on the types of empathy. In Part 1, you learned about Emotional Empathy. Now, it’s time to explore Cognitive Empathy. In the next blog, we’ll cover Compassionate Empathy.

To begin, think about all the people in your life. Is there someone you turn to when you need a solution to a problem? Someone who can cut through your emotional mess and help you formulate a plan of action?

These go-to problem-solvers often rely on cognitive empathy to make sense of other people’s struggles. Cognitive empathy is a characteristic of emotional intelligence [...]

Posted in Emotional Intelligence, How to Build Empathy

The 3 Types of Empathy Explained: Part I, Emotional Empathy

January 04, 2020

“Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another and feeling with the heart of another.” ~Alfred Alder

You may have heard Alder’s description of empathy before, but did you know there are three types of empathy? That’s right! There’s Emotional Empathy, Compassionate Empathy, and Cognitive Empathy, and each one has its uses. This series of posts will explore each type of empathy in depth so you can better recognize and utilize them.

Let’s begin with Emotional Empathy. When someone uses the quote above or calls themselves an “empath,” they’re typically [...]

Posted in Emotional Intelligence, How to Build Empathy

What Happens in Your Brain When You Fail?

January 02, 2020

“You might never fail on the scale I did, but some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all—in which case, you fail by default.” ~ J.K. Rowling

At one stage or another, we have all experienced failure. It often invokes a negative emotion which connotes feelings and ideas of defeat, frustration, and disappointment. Failure is subjective and it really depends on what you classify as failing. Most likely, your idea of failure may vary greatly from your parents, your [...]

Posted in Brain Fitness, Mindfulness and Perspective

Find Inner Peace through Self-Acceptance

December 27, 2019

When you wake up in the morning, is your mind racing? Do you fret about what other people think of you? Do you feel anxious, no matter how hard you try to stay calm?

Are you impatient with your impatience?

Luckily, the idea that you should always feel a sense of well-being and inner peace is a misconception. Life happens. Your spouse works late. Children get sick. You get a flat tire on your way to work. A friend hurts your feelings. You lose a pet or a loved one.

Feeling peaceful has nothing to do with what happens to us; it’s about learning the art of self-acceptance and mindfulness.

Posted in Emotional Intelligence & Fitness

3 Things You Should Never Do in Love and Marriage

December 19, 2019

Have you ever gotten into an argument with your partner, and after you cooled down, you can’t even remember how it was sparked?

Everyone has a unique perspective, so we’re bound to disagree sometimes. However, if disagreements become fights that harm the relationship, our remarks made while upset can fuel future hurt. When it comes to love and marriage, there are a few sacred rules of engagement. If you honor these, you’re halfway to a great relationship. If not, breaking these guidelines will divide you, rewound your partner, and diminish your love.

Posted in Love, Marriage, and Relationships

Do You Struggle with a Lack of Employee Engagement?

December 17, 2019

Recently, I was driving down the interstate in a blizzard. I could barely see even a few feet ahead. Little did I know I was on the bumper of a revelation. I slowed down, but not soon enough. The snow cleared for a second, and I discovered myself face-to-face with the tailgate of a semi-truck. I swerved to safety, but something caught my eye.

Glaring back at me was a large bumper sticker: “Truckers don’t deserve to be treated like ....” I strained to see the final word. There was none—only a picture of a slab of beef.

Posted in Business and Leadership

How to Use Visualization to Get Amazing Results!

December 05, 2019

My first experience with visualization was in high school as a springboard diver. My coach requested me to switch from a jackknife (or pike) dive to a layout dive, which had more difficulty and higher points in competition. As you probably know, a layout dive requires the diver’s body to be an unbending plank. My coach was extremely frustrated with me for weeks because no matter how hard I tried to stay straight, I’d bend at the top of the dive. (A diver gets docked in their score for this error.) Every day after diving practice, I’d go home exasperated with myself.

Then the summer [...]

Posted in Brain Fitness, Mindfulness and Perspective

Mini-Habits to Support Your Growth and Success

November 30, 2019

Years ago, I attended an out-of-state business training and was chosen to be a part of an interactive exercise that the facilitator conducted. The exercise required us to take steps along a tightrope, maintaining balance while also ensuring that our team members before and after us were safe and secure. It was a difficult task. The experience gave me practice firsthand in balancing while simultaneously striving to accomplish a distant goal. 

What echoes in my mind from that day is the frustrated colleague directly behind me who barked, “Just take small, manageable steps!”

Posted in Emotional Intelligence