Do We Need to Experience Love to Be Loving?

May 09, 2019

"Forgiveness" is a term used so often that few people question its intrinsic value. You'd probably agree that asking for and offering forgiveness has become common practice. Just like many others, I was taught growing up that when you hurt someone—even accidentally—the right thing to do is to say you're sorry and ask for forgiveness. Children quickly learn when adults expect an apology, even when a child may have lacked the skill to respond differently.

Many may be surprised for me to question the long and treasured tradition of forgiveness and how we view love in the context of forgiving [...]

Posted in Emotional Intelligence & Fitness, Most Popular

Why Being a People Pleaser Damages Relationships—and What to Do About It

May 03, 2018

Are you a people pleaser? I was! In fact, growing up, I majored in pleasing others. I honestly believed as a child and young adult that if people didn’t need me, they wouldn’t want me. So I worked at being indispensable. My pleaser habit was so deeply rooted that I didn’t know I was giving up myself on a regular basis, in every relationship at home and work. My pattern of over-giving had great benefits—or so I thought.

Posted in Emotional Intelligence & Fitness, Most Popular

The Three Kinds of Empathy: Emotional, Cognitive, Compassionate

April 19, 2018

Do you know what the three kinds of empathy are and how to express them? Empathy is must-learn skill that brings more ease to your life and relationships!When a student tells you they’re overwhelmed or your partner comes home with bad news from work—do you respond with empathy? Or do you react?

So, how would you respond if your partner came home overwhelmed with fear, sadness and anger and told you she’d just lost her job? The ideal would be to respond thoughtfully and empathetically.

The thing is, not all empathy looks and feels the same. Just like not all sadness is the same; or [...]

Posted in Most Popular, How to Build Empathy

What Is Empathy and Why Is It Important?

May 15, 2017

Have you ever had one of those days when you just needed someone to talk to, someone to really get how you were feeling? Have you ever felt totally misunderstood by your spouse or a friend? Well, if you have, you were more than likely needing a dose of empathy.

Feeling heard and understood is a human need. Everyone needs to feel understood. Empathy helps us get in touch with our feelings and gives us an emotional understanding of ourselves and others.

Posted in Most Popular, How to Build Empathy

How to Build Healthy Brain Habits this Spring

March 28, 2017

This Spring, when the annual trend of cleaning closets and windows rolls around, why not use the season’s regenerative energy to re-energize your brain? While three-quarters of Americans report cleaning their homes each spring, it is also prime time to scrub old mental patterns and lay ground for new neural pathways.

“Normal brain development is a staggeringly beautiful and wondrous thing,” says Kendal Broadie, Ph.D., a Professor of Neurobiology, Biological Sciences and Pharmacology at Vanderbilt University, in a powerful Vanderbilt article titled The Fine Art of Brain Development.

Posted in Brain Fitness, Mindfulness and Perspective, Most Popular

8 Keys for Breaking Bad Habits!

August 12, 2016

A frequent question I get is “So, how do I change?” It’s our habits, of course, that keep us from changing, and breaking habits can seem hard. Maybe you’ve tried so many times and ended up at the same place—until you start believing it’s impossible to change. Perhaps you’ve even begun to think that somehow you’re missing a willpower gene or your relationship will never work out. Well, lucky for you, helping people learn how to make the changes they want as quickly as possible is my forte.

When you have the right tools, change is far from impossible.

With all change, one of the most [...]

Posted in Brain Fitness, Mindfulness and Perspective, Most Popular

The Stop, Drop, and Roll of Successful Communication

August 02, 2016

Most of us (especially parents) know what to do if our clothes catch fire: STOP, DROP, and ROLL. But do we know what to do if our relationship catches fire?

Our relationship may function smoothly and harmoniously most of the time. But when a conflict does arise, we may find out that we just don’t know how to resolve it. Many times, the problem lies in our lack of communication skills.

We all want to feel heard and understood. If we don’t know how to establish real connection through effective communication in our love relationship, we may find ourselves competing within the relationship [...]

Posted in Love, Marriage, and Relationships, Most Popular

How to Deal with Anger Effectively

October 02, 2012
I've yet to meet anyone who truly likes anger. Most people dodge it, dump it, judge it, repress it, disown it, cloak it, reject it, and/or apologize for it. And many people are afraid of anger, so they try their best to avoid making anyone else angry. Anger really does get a bad rap. Why is that? Why do we dislike anger so much? And why do so many people need anger management? Could it be that we have spent so much time running from anger and labeling it as bad that we have forgotten to seek to understand it? Perhaps we never learned—or we've forgotten—that anger is a vital energy that [...]

Posted in Emotional Intelligence & Fitness, Most Popular