Without exception and across the globe, people’s lives have been changed by the pandemic and the continuing rebound of families and businesses. And everyone is navigating the dramatic increase in the digital world. Just try to keep teens off of their smartphones! Regardless of the challenge, there is one emotional intelligence skill that can make a difference in all relationships—empathy!
Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
Posted in Emotional Intelligence, How to Build Empathy
In times of uncertainty, we can grasp at straws and seek to chase the illusion of control but the truth is, it's impossible. Change is the only constant. However, there are things that we can control in these times of uncertainty and increased anxiousness.
The first and biggest one is our response. We can choose to quiet our fearful thoughts and emotions. This act alone may seem small, yet it can help us calm, assist us in making better decisions, and support us emotionally to weather the storm.
Estimated reading time: 5 minutes
Posted in Brain Fitness, Mindfulness and Perspective, Emotional Intelligence
People-pleasing is a way of life for many. Yet, a happy life depends on healthy boundaries and being true to ourselves. One of the greatest skills anyone can learn is how to set healthy boundaries but for a people pleaser, the thought of setting a boundary can be scary and feel threatening.
A few months ago, a new client told me that she had a bad habit of saying “yes” when she really wanted to say “no.” At the end of the day, she felt exhausted and resentful because there was never any energy or time left over for what was important to her. Even when she was maxed to the hilt, she'd take on [...]
Posted in Emotional Intelligence
People pleasing is a habit for many; it was a way of life for me. Then one evening, I was brainstorming topics for a school paper with my daughter. It's enjoyable generating ideas; I love collaborative ventures. However, she quickly torpedoed my ideas for one reason or another. After a while, I started feeling disheartened and said to her, “If all my suggestions get rejected, what’s the point of me giving ideas?” What she said next turned my world inside out.
Estimated reading time: 5 minutes
Posted in Brain Fitness, Mindfulness and Perspective, Emotional Intelligence
The adage, “think with your head, not with your heart,” would make you think that emotional empathy (Part I of this series) and cognitive empathy (Part II of this series) cannot coexist. Luckily, that’s not true! When the heart and mind meet in the middle, the third type of empathy comes alive—Compassionate Empathy.
Estimated reading time: 5 minutes
Posted in Emotional Intelligence, How to Build Empathy
Welcome to the second part of the in-depth series on the types of empathy. In Part 1, you learned about Emotional Empathy. Now, it’s time to explore Cognitive Empathy. In the next blog, we’ll cover Compassionate Empathy.
To begin, think about all the people in your life. Is there someone you turn to when you need a solution to a problem? Someone who can cut through your emotional mess and help you formulate a plan of action? These go-to problem-solvers often rely on cognitive empathy to make sense of other people’s struggles.
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes
Posted in Emotional Intelligence, How to Build Empathy
“Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another and feeling with the heart of another.” ~Alfred Alder
You may have heard Alder’s description of empathy before, but did you know there are three types of empathy? That’s right! There’s Emotional Empathy, Compassionate Empathy, and Cognitive Empathy, and each one has its uses. This series of posts will explore each type of empathy in depth so you can better recognize and utilize them. Let’s begin with Emotional Empathy.
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes
Posted in Emotional Intelligence, How to Build Empathy
Years ago, I attended an out-of-state business training and was chosen to be a part of an interactive exercise that the facilitator conducted. The exercise required us to take steps along a tightrope, maintaining balance while also ensuring that our team members before and after us were safe and secure. It was a difficult task. The experience gave me practice firsthand in balancing while simultaneously striving to accomplish a distant goal.
What echoes in my mind from that day is the frustrated colleague directly behind me who barked, “Just take small, manageable steps!”
Estimated reading [...]
Posted in Emotional Intelligence
Apologies are essential in our relationships. No matter how they are given, whether through an apology letter or in person, apologies recognize that hurt has happened due to the actions of another. Without that recognition, bitterness and resentment can build.
When given freely and sincerely, apologies hold the power to be precious. They say, “I have screwed up and have hurt you.” Are we able to mend and move forward in our relationship in spite of the screw-up? Will the experience result in greater distance or more closeness and understanding?
Posted in Emotional Intelligence
Emotional literacy and emotional intelligence both start by being able to say no. “No” is one of the shortest and simplest of words in almost any language, yet many people, especially people pleasers, have difficulty saying it.
Often, parents come to me because their child has been using that little, powerful word too much. Why do we train it out of them? By the time we’re adults, many of us have learned that it’s easier to go along with others. We seek to please, to be liked, to avoid hurting someone’s feelings, or to prevent conflict. So we say yes when we mean no. Or we say yes but drag [...]
Posted in Emotional Intelligence
