Are You Tolerating Disrespect in Your Relationships?

November 04, 2019

We tolerate bad habits and unhealthy behaviors way too long for a variety of reasons. What's yours? What do you allow that depletes your joy? What excuses do you make? And how do you let yourself off the hook and postpone creating a better life? Many times tolerations and compromises are even in our most cherished relationships. Disrespect. Sharp words. Busy schedules that don't cultivate love. Broken promises that erode trust. Why do we make suffering our bed partner?

Years ago, I overheard my mom tell someone in an unhappy marriage, "You've made your bed, and now you have to sleep in [...]

Posted in Love, Marriage, and Relationships

How to Use Empathy to Strengthen Your Marriage

October 22, 2019

“Why does a woman work ten years to change a man, then complain he’s not the man she married?” ~Barbra Streisand

I see it all the time; couples stuck in a rut of marital conflict and stress where small issues become giant hurdles, and their love gets buried. Love sure can be inconvenient, but empathy can dramatically help. Empathy will strengthen your closeness and bond so you feel rich in love, and you’ll be able to handle nearly every challenge that comes your way.

Posted in Love, Marriage, and Relationships

Marriage Advice: Sweat the Small Stuff!

September 10, 2019

A few weeks ago, I made a quick stop at the grocery store that turned into a lesson in love. While scanning the grocery cooler for a Greek yogurt I like, an older gentleman noticed my futile search. He was stocking the dairy aisle and inquired what I was looking for. He pointed me in the right direction; I had totally missed my favorite brand because of a new packaging design. It’s called change blindness, a cognitive phenomenon where we’re unable to detect small or large visual changes due to familiarity.

Anyway, we struck up a conversation. (My husband learned long ago that there are no [...]

Posted in Love, Marriage, and Relationships

Best Marriage Advice: Depersonalize Your Partner's Behavior

August 01, 2019

One of the greatest impediments to a healthy relationship and happy marriage is personalizing your partner's behavior and accompanying emotions released in misunderstandings and arguments. When we take offense at our spouse's snarky remarks, arguments often spark. Granted, when angry emotions or childish behavior are wielded our way, it can be difficult to respond with love. Understandably so. When we commit our love to one another, we expect respect, support, and love.

Posted in Love, Marriage, and Relationships

How to Put Vitality Back in Your Relationship!

July 06, 2019

I swung into the grocery store on my way home the other night to grab a box of My/Mo Mochi ice cream. As I reached the freezer section, I stopped as if frozen myself. My eyes gazed down the long aisle with hundreds of choices of frozen desserts: dozens of flavors and brands in every imaginable size and shape. Wow, how common prolific choices have become in stores and in our lives!

We live in a culture of instant gratification and continual titillation of our senses. Every moment confronts us with zillions of choices for eating, drinking, working, recreating, and traveling. Let's take the [...]

Posted in Love, Marriage, and Relationships

Conflict in Marriage: How to Communicate with Your Spouse

June 11, 2019

In a loving relationship or marriage, there are certain critical keys that open the door to more love. And it is communication in marriage more than anything else that makes or breaks a relationship. We all have a deep need to feel heard and understood. Though this need is vital, it can often interfere with our ability to truly hear our partner, especially at heated moments.

After several decades of marriage, I have found that keeping my mouth closed and my ears wide open helps immensely to carve the way to rich and robust communication.

Posted in Love, Marriage, and Relationships

Get More Love and Fun in Your Marriage Right Now

May 23, 2019

Love and marriage. Leverage is probably not something that you think about when you're desiring a healthy and strong marriage. You are more likely to want better communication, deeper intimacy, and "love made visible." There are many ways to build a loving relationship, yet there are certain things that consistently nurture love. It's not in the big strokes, but in the daily little actions. The best marriage advice is to leverage the small things.

Posted in Love, Marriage, and Relationships

The Challenge of Love and Marriage

April 18, 2019
As I was driving on the interstate a while back, I passed a truck with the license plate EZ2LOVE. My mind tossed this little saying around for quite some time. In my line of work, I think about love quite a bit (don't we all?), but "easy" and "love" aren't words I usually hear my clients use in the same sentence. I wondered why the driver had posted this little saying for all to see. And what did it mean? Was it a statement that he or she is easy to love? Was it a general statement that love is easy? Although the latest studies show a lowering of the divorce rate, particularly with the M [...]

Posted in Love, Marriage, and Relationships

Love Is Sometimes Inconvenient!

February 26, 2019

It’s common to have unrealistic and romantic ideas about love, relationships, and marriage. We grow up with a solid diet of fairytales and love stories. Nobody tells you how much work it is to love someone full-time, 24-7, seven days a week—really love someone.

After the honeymoon wears off, it hits you—sometimes gradually, other times suddenly like a ton of bricks. You’re living day-to-day with the quirks of your partner and juggling all the pressures of life and work. Then, one day, you have this pit in our stomach and dare to wonder if you married the wrong person. Relationship [...]

Posted in Love, Marriage, and Relationships

How Being Compliant and a People Pleaser Destroys Marriages

February 15, 2019

One of the most common and precarious habits that I observe in couples and even long-term marriages is the popular behavior of telling your partner what they want to hear rather than what you need, want, think and feel. When we go along with our partner rather than engage on a real and authentic level, it builds a marriage with unsteady stilts that can topple at any time.

Pleasing, people pleasers and compliance are prevalent. So why is this habit so pervasive?

Posted in Love, Marriage, and Relationships