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How to Not Be a People Pleaser and Stop Seeking Approval

People pleasing is a habit for many; it was a way of life for me. Then one evening, I was brainstorming topics for a school paper with my daughter. It's enjoyable generating ideas; I love collaborative ventures. However, she quickly torpedoed my ideas for one reason or another. After a while, I started feeling disheartened and said to her, “If all my suggestions get rejected, what’s the point of me giving ideas?” What she said next turned my world inside out.

Estimated reading time: 5 minutes

Posted in Brain Fitness, Mindfulness and Perspective, Emotional Intelligence

The 3 Types of Empathy Explained: Part III, Compassionate Empathy

The adage, “think with your head, not with your heart,” would make you think that emotional empathy (Part I of this series) and cognitive empathy (Part II of this series) cannot coexist. Luckily, that’s not true! When the heart and mind meet in the middle, the third type of empathy comes alive—Compassionate Empathy.

Estimated reading time: 5 minutes

Posted in Emotional Intelligence, How to Build Empathy

The 3 Types of Empathy Explained: Part II, Cognitive Empathy

Welcome to the second part of the in-depth series on the types of empathy. In Part 1, you learned about Emotional Empathy. Now, it’s time to explore Cognitive Empathy. In the next blog, we’ll cover Compassionate Empathy.

To begin, think about all the people in your life. Is there someone you turn to when you need a solution to a problem? Someone who can cut through your emotional mess and help you formulate a plan of action? These go-to problem-solvers often rely on cognitive empathy to make sense of other people’s struggles. 

Estimated reading time: 3 minutes

Posted in Emotional Intelligence, How to Build Empathy

The 3 Types of Empathy Explained: Part I, Emotional Empathy

“Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another and feeling with the heart of another.” ~Alfred Alder

You may have heard Alder’s description of empathy before, but did you know there are three types of empathy? That’s right! There’s Emotional Empathy, Compassionate Empathy, and Cognitive Empathy, and each one has its uses. This series of posts will explore each type of empathy in depth so you can better recognize and utilize them. Let’s begin with Emotional Empathy.

Estimated reading time: 3 minutes

Posted in Emotional Intelligence, How to Build Empathy

What Happens in Your Brain When You Fail?

“You might never fail on the scale I did, but some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all—in which case, you fail by default.” ~ J.K. Rowling

At one stage or another, we have all experienced failure. It often invokes a negative emotion, which connotes feelings and ideas of defeat, frustration, and disappointment.

Estimated reading time: 3 minutes

Posted in Brain Fitness, Mindfulness and Perspective

Find Inner Peace through Self-Acceptance

When you wake up in the morning, is your mind racing? Do you fret about what other people think of you? Do you feel anxious, no matter how hard you try to stay calm?

Are you impatient with your impatience?

Luckily, the idea that you should always feel a sense of well-being and inner peace is a misconception. Life happens. Your spouse works late. Children get sick. You get a flat tire on your way to work. A friend hurts your feelings. You lose a pet or a loved one.

Feeling peaceful or having emotional well-being has nothing to do with what happens to us; it’s about learning the art of [...]

Posted in Emotional Intelligence & Fitness

The Heartmanity Year in Review

Last year was a whirlwind year. As the retrospectives start rolling in, it doesn’t take much to floor me. Did all that really happen in 2019? Has it only been one year?

Author José Saramago wrote this about time: “You never know beforehand what people are capable of, you have to wait, give it time, it's time that rules, time is our gambling partner on the other side of the table and it holds all the cards of the deck in its hand, we have to guess the winning cards of life, our lives.”

You never know what a year is capable of.

Posted in Emotional Intelligence & Fitness, Habits for Health

3 Things You Should Never Do in Love and Marriage

Have you ever gotten into an argument with your partner, and after you cooled down, you can’t even remember how it started?

Everyone has a unique perspective, so we’re bound to disagree sometimes. However, if disagreements become fights that harm the relationship, our remarks made while upset can fuel future hurt. When it comes to love and marriage, there are a few sacred rules of engagement. If you honor these, you’re halfway to a great relationship. If not, breaking these guidelines will divide you, rewound your partner, and diminish your love.

Posted in Love, Marriage, and Relationships

How to Use Visualization to Get Amazing Results!

My first experience with visualization was in high school as a springboard diver. My coach requested me to switch from a jackknife (or pike) dive to a layout dive, which had more difficulty and higher points in competition.

As you probably know, a layout dive requires the diver’s body to be an unbending plank. My coach was extremely frustrated with me for weeks because no matter how hard I tried to stay straight, I’d bend at the top of the dive.

Estimated reading time: 3.5 minutes

Posted in Brain Fitness, Mindfulness and Perspective

Mini-Habits to Support Your Growth and Success

Years ago, I attended an out-of-state business training and was chosen to be a part of an interactive exercise that the facilitator conducted. The exercise required us to take steps along a tightrope, maintaining balance while also ensuring that our team members before and after us were safe and secure. It was a difficult task. The experience gave me practice firsthand in balancing while simultaneously striving to accomplish a distant goal. 

What echoes in my mind from that day is the frustrated colleague directly behind me who barked, “Just take small, manageable steps!”

Estimated reading [...]

Posted in Emotional Intelligence

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