In many families, unfortunately, a lack of boundaries is the norm. In many cases, these types of families are idealized as “tight-knit” in television shows and movies. But an overbearing mother insinuating that it’s time to provide her with grandchildren, or a sibling who wants to spend all your free time together (and gets upset when you go out with friends), can be more than characters on-screen. For many people, it is their reality and disrespected boundaries strain relationships.

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

Emotional intelligence is my specialty, but it wasn’t always. As a young adult, I was angry all the time. Every day I had frequent meltdowns—yes, way too emotional with no ability to regulate my emotions. I felt continually jerked around by life’s challenges and other people’s expectations of me. As a teen, I was severely depressed; even when I was functional, anxiety and a brutal inner critic were my constant companions. 

Learning emotional intelligence was a game-changer for me. It gave me the tools and the encouragement that I needed to heal and create inner peace. It’s why I am so [...]

Gossip. Backbiting. Complaining.

Years ago, when a friend and I would meet for lunch, somehow, it invariably turned into a meal of complaints or a conversation orbiting around the critique of others. I’d walk away from the luncheon splattered with the emotional mud of gossip, feeling disappointed and reticent to get together in the future. It could be months before we got together again, partly because of the heavy feeling in my heart.

Estimated reading time: 6 minutes

How many of you grew up encouraged to freely express your emotions when you were a child? What happened when you got angry? Or sad? Growing up in a family where the whole spectrum of emotions was accepted, encouraged, and explored is rare, yet it’s one way that children develop emotional intelligence. Most of us grew up with a double standard where it wasn’t okay for us to express our challenging emotions, yet our parents sometimes reacted out of tiredness or stress.

Do you remember seeing your mother cry when you were young? I do. I remember asking my mom what was wrong as she sobbed—her [...]

Dr. Charles Raison said in an interview recently with The Sun magazine: “We’ve replaced a fictitious certainty with an honest confusion.” A statement has never felt truer.

Whatever certainty we may have thought we possessed has since blown away like an empty plastic bag in the wind. These past few years have been unprecedented and challenging, with disruption felt to our core. The pandemic has taught us many lessons, and one shouts louder than most: we affect one another—profoundly. In times like these, emotional fitness, resiliency, empathy, and inner peace are priceless treasures.

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What will make this year one to remember…and treasure?

According to Pew Research Center, consistent polls show that spending time with our loved ones creates the most meaning in our lives. Yet if anger, anxiety, and knee-jerk reactions dominate our emotional experience, they can profoundly detract from our ability to make meaningful connections with others—even those we deeply love.

Estimated reading time: 6 minutes

A client asked me recently, “What’s wrong with pleasing people? Isn’t it kind to please others?” This question inspired me to write about the topic from a new perspective. After all, there is a lot written about the dark side of being a people-pleaser and how habitually pleasing others can deplete personal power and destroy relationships. If you’re a people-pleaser, this can be disheartening. Luckily, there’s also a light side to being a people-pleaser, one which can help provide a happy life with great fulfillment. 

Estimated reading time: 4.5 minutes

Whether you’ve been with your partner for six months or married for ten years, poor boundaries create dependency and unhappy couples. If you want to develop a healthy and happy relationship, you must each have healthy personal boundaries.

Often, we consider boundaries to be something that pushes people away, or we’re afraid that the other person will react negatively or feel hurt. However, healthy boundaries in relationships are a prerequisite to happiness. They define us and what is essential in our lives. Without them, there is too much room for drama. Boundaries help to create a  [...]

We may not be able to control unexpected events in life, but we can control our outlook, attitude, perspective, and how we respond to events. And setting and achieving goals we set for ourselves is also something you have power.

Setting and writing down goals with a plan to achieve them has been shown to increase the likelihood of their attainment. Why not set a goal to improve your emotional fitness? Just like physical fitness, you can become emotionally literate and learn to regulate your emotions for better results in life and relationships.

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes