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Tired of Being Overweight? Lose Weight with a New Perspective

Are you struggling to get motivated and unable to lose weight? Does it feel like you’ve tried everything with no results?! It is discouraging at best.

You’re not alone. It’s difficult for many people, including myself, to stay dedicated to a lifestyle that promotes health and fitness. Our schedules are crazy busy, and it takes discipline and consistency to develop healthy habits. Or does it? Is that all that’s going on?

If you want to lose weight, you need to lighten the load of negative self-talk, too.

Table of Contents - jump to section                                                      
Weight Loss Discovery Questions
Why Can't I Motivate Myself to Lose Weight?
Create a New Mindset to Support Weight Loss
Steps to Lose Weight and Gain Self-Esteem in the Process
Step 1: Reframe the Way You View Yourself, Your Body, and Your Weight
Step 2: Accept Yourself (and Your Body) with Compassion
Step 3: Before Eating, Sit Down, Calm Your Mind, and Relax Your Body
Thich Nhat Hanh Quote on Eating
Frequently Asked Questions

Weight Loss Discovery Questions

Are you judging yourself?

Hmm…. Might be keeping you stuck.

Do you eat food to “feel” better, but your mood worsens afterward?

Hmm…. The part of you that you’re feeding isn’t your body.

Does your food sit in your belly feeling heavy?

Hmm…. Your body may be in a survival response.

Why Can't I Motivate Myself to Lose Weight!?

One key factor in all healthy or unhealthy habits to consider is your stress triggers. It doesn't matter how good your intentions are once these stress triggers are activated.

Once activated, we do not metabolize our food optimally.

Why? Because our brain redirects energy from digestion to our legs and arms for a fast response to survive, such as when a person is confronted by an unexpected grizzly bear. Our digestive juices aren’t essential when escaping danger and staying alive is the priority.

And since we’re under unhealthy stress continually, we have a big problem. (Why do you think many people gain so much fat in the belly area?)

So it may not be about motivation after all!

Related reading: "How to Internal and External Motivation to Catapult You to Your Goals."

Create a New Mindset to Support Weight Loss

One of the first things on a successful journey to increased vitality, health, and ideal weight is to get a fresh mindset about your body and those extra pounds.

Unprocessed feelings distort the way we see ourselves. Just like a lake with waves, the distortion prevents you from seeing your image in the water clearly.

The waves of critical self-talk and negative emotions coursing through your system create a static that blocks true change and actions leading to your better self and a healthier body.

Related reading: "5 Ways to Build Healthy Habits for Fitness and Weight Loss."

A woman is engaged in emotional eating with her head in the fridge.

Steps to Lose Weight and Gain Self-Esteem in the Process

Try the following simple steps for a fresh approach to health and to achieve your goal of losing weight.

STEP 1 - Create a New Mindset: Reframe the way you view yourself, your body, and your weight.

Extra weight is about carrying around outworn patterns, repressed or postponed desires, unprocessed emotions, unresolved pain, unlived dreams, and stillborn creative pursuits.

It’s time to live, not eat more.

Instead of beating yourself up because you’re overeating or neglecting exercise, it’s time to reconnect with your deep aspirations.

  • What past experiences might you still be digesting?
    For example, your love relationship recently fell apart and you're grieving and lonely.

  • What dream have you buried under that weight?
    Maybe you dreamed of owning your own business but you're miserable in your current job. Just can't get the courage to quit.

  • Are there any emotions you've been ignoring?
    Perhaps, you miss a close friend who moved to another state and you're afraid of losing touch with them. Or you're feeling stuck in an unhealthy relationship and hesitating to set a healthy boundary.

Love those pounds; they hold a vital message for you.

Behind every bad habit is an unmet need or unfulfilled desire.

Get curious.


Then act on what you discover. Each time you open to your truth, you’ll feel lighter! With this fresh perspective, you'll be more motivated, too!

STEP 2 - Accept yourself (and your body) with compassion and loving-kindness.

Now that you have a new way of looking at yourself, it’s time to give yourself the gift of emotional freedom. Before you mindlessly start eating, stop and take a few deep breaths. Ask yourself, “What am I feeling?” or “What unpleasant emotion am I trying to avoid or cover over with eating?”

Just by identifying an emotion, the built-up energy will dissipate. Allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling. Gently send compassion to whatever you're feeling. Open your heart.

As the energy reintegrates, listen carefully. An emotion often reveals an action that will help you step into your authentic power more fully in the future.

For example, a few promptings you might hear from your emotions could be: “Have an honest talk with your friend” or “Let go of blame and ask for what you need.” or “Slow down before you agree to a commitment next time, it’s okay to say no.” Take note and plan to act differently at the next opportunity.

Tired businessman eating pizza at the office avoiding his anxiety

Now on a practical note:

STEP 3 - Before eating, sit down, calm your mind, and relax your body.

Let go of your responsibilities and be fully present. Put your phone and computer away. Take a few slow, deep breaths before taking your first bite.

Why? Because this simple practice acts to signal the brain that you’re safe and dials down your survival response.

Relaxing and deep breathing also cue the body to turn on the metabolism. Thus, your body is prepared to receive the meal. Just this simple practice can make all the difference in how you assimilate your food and whether it nourishes you or adds another pound.

As Thich Nhat Hanh has said, “Chew your food, not your worries.”

Follow these steps until they become a healthy habit and watch your weight melt away as the snow melts in the heat of the sun.

Losing weight is not about losing fat; it’s about freeing energy and gaining self-esteem and self-love along the way. One way to change your relationship with food is by following the holistic principles of Ayurveda. Each positive action contributes to optimal health.

Changing your inner world is what will transform your body and life.

Frequently Asked Questions

How can I accept myself when I'm overweight?

The first thing to do is send compassion to yourself and how you are feeling. Here is where you are: overweight and tired of it! If you are feeling bad about your weight, you want to be somewhere else.

The first step in all change is acknowledging where we are. Accept that this is where you are.

Next, replace all negative self-talk with encouragement. No amount of criticism and self-loathing ever made us feel better about ourselves. Your number one job is to stay mindfully positive!

Then ask, what habits lead me here? Identify them. Then, design a new path: the habits you'll need to develop to achieve and maintain the weight that feels good to you. Write down the new habits and set your goals. You got this!

Would you like additional reinforcement and support? Want to know how to get rid of bad habits once and for all!? Try one of our coaching programs.

 Sign me up! for a FREE Discovery Session.

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Jennifer A. Williams / Emotional Intelligence CoachJennifer A. Williams / Emotional Intelligence Coach
Jennifer is the Heartmanity founder and an emotional intelligence expert. She has two decades of EQ experience and is the author of emotional intelligence training and courses. As an emotional fitness coach, Jennifer teaches EQ skills, brain science hacks, and a comprehensive approach that gets results. She is happily married and the mother of three incredible grown children.

Posted in Emotional Intelligence & Fitness

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