Quickly Avoid Power Struggles with Children Using Empathy

December 06, 2018

Sometimes I get wildly angry at screens—whether an Xbox or TV—and my children’s inability to end their session the second I ask them. If I wasn't so frugally and environmentally driven, I might be tempted to throw screens out of moving vehicles and second story windows.

But then, my empathy kicks in; sometimes faster than other times. I remember what it’s like to be deeply immersed in something and suddenly asked to stop. If I’m engrossed in reading a book, texting a friend, writing a letter, or brushing my teeth, it’s unlikely that I’ll stop doing the activity at the exact moment I am [...]

Posted in Perfectly Imperfect Parenting

Apathy Is the Enemy of Empathy

November 27, 2018

Whether it's a friend, spouse, or a co-worker, the unknown of another's emotions can make us very uneasy even if we desire to support the person. Sometimes it's just easier to remain on our own island and ensure safety and predictability. 

Do you steer away from those "soft" feelings because they might take you places you are unprepared to go?

Do others’ reactions and charged emotions frighten you? 

Are you concerned that you'll be sucked into an abyss of someone else's pain? After all, some days we are barely dealing with life's challenges ourselves.

At a time with much uncertainty and [...]

Posted in Emotional Intelligence & Fitness

Taming the Flood of Contradictions in a Wedding

November 13, 2018

It is very apparent to everyone that weddings are quite a dichotomy—filled with contradictions.

Beginnings and endings. Expected extravagance clashing with necessary budgets. The anticipation of the perfect day colliding with unknowns and fears. The exhilaration of love and joy contrasted by forgotten details, letdowns, and disappointments. The elevated happiness and the greatest stress all tied up into one day.

Posted in Intentional Weddings & Wedding Planning

Teens and Screens: Does Your Child Have Screen Addiction?

November 12, 2018

Internet Addiction, Texting Addiction, Screen Addiction, and Gaming Addiction are all phrases we hear in modern times but are they really a thing? Well, yes they are and no they are not. What?! Keep on reading to see why this is not a clear-cut answer.

Posted in Perfectly Imperfect Parenting

How Emotional Resilience Can Help You Cultivate Happiness

November 01, 2018

For many, stress has a hair-trigger. Change and unexpected letdowns are met with emotional over-reactions, and minor criticisms can ruin entire days. The antidote to this turmoil is emotional resilience, an element of emotional intelligence that allows one to adapt to and recover from stress and negativity. The good news is that you can actively improve your emotional resilience and noticeably increase your happiness.

Posted in Boost Your Emotional Intelligence

Why Selfie Care Is Vital for Parents

October 30, 2018

Why have selfies become a trend? And do we take a selfie only when we look our best? Probably not during a fight with your spouse or after a day of power struggles with your toddler or teen. 

Could the preoccupation with Facebook along with snapping selfies and posting pictures on Snapchat be a sign of how invisible we feel to ourselves? Maybe, maybe not. But there is a form of invisibility to ourselves that often goes unnoticed—a lack of self-care.

Posted in Perfectly Imperfect Parenting

Why You Should Stop Being a People Pleaser

October 23, 2018

Recently, I quoted Ayn Rand to someone close to me, and the person quickly retorted that I couldn't possibly buy into her philosophy. Their fervent response surprised me, so I inquired what he meant. The answer unfolded a fascinating discussion.

Posted in Boost Your Emotional Intelligence, Emotional Intelligence & Fitness

Social Media Is Social Currency for Teens

October 04, 2018

The term "social media" did not even exist in mainstream culture when I had my first son in 2004. My mother and I still wrote snail-mail and email letters back and forth and talked on the phone. That is how I kept in contact with all my out-of-town loved ones, and as for my in-town peeps, it was face-to-face get-togethers and phone calls with occasional emails to coordinate plans that involved more than a few of us.Going back a bit further, the social currency for young people in my era was notes written during class and passed in the halls, phone calls, and chat gatherings in the corners [...]

Posted in Perfectly Imperfect Parenting

Screens and Teens—Why Do Teens Love Screens So Much?

October 01, 2018

There is endless content online (ironic isn’t it!?!) about screens, internet use, gaming, safety, addiction, sleep deprivation, and how to set limits. So much content that a person (ME!) can spend hours on a screen just learning about how to deal with screens, so why write more?

At Heartmanity, we want to approach screens, tech, safety, limits, and the like through the understanding of emotional needs, relationships, empathy, compassion, brain science, and love, which are not common approaches used in most available content. So, that being said, let’s look at why teens love screens so much.

Posted in Perfectly Imperfect Parenting

"Intention, Not Tension"

September 28, 2018

With all the daily ups and downs and the moment-by-moment challenges that arise in our lives, it's easy to forget that we have a say in how we feel. We have the ability to choose our response no matter what happens (and things do happen). We can create our experience in each moment, even when it doesn’t feel like we have any choice at all.

How do we do this? By being mindful of our reactions and self-talk. At any moment, we can set our reset button, shifting tension to a conscious intention. Perhaps our intention is to remain calm even when things go wrong. These mini decisions determine [...]

Posted in Brain Fitness, Mindfulness and Perspective

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