Complaining is one way the brain lets off steam, but when done too frequently as a couple, it is disheartening and can become a pattern that diminishes the vitality of a relationship. A couple’s complaints can eclipse their love, corrode joy, and make married couples begin to doubt why they even married each other. If that's you, you're likely feeling unfulfilled in marriage or in a relationship, so keep reading.

We may have hard heads but we don’t have rock-solid hearts—our hearts are soft and vulnerable. In committed relationships, we need a lot of understanding to build bridges, especially when our needs collide with our partner’s.

One of the things we tend to do is personalize our partner’s behavior when they are acting out their stress or unresolved emotions. When we personalize their behavior, our feelings often get hurt—and then we sometimes either lash out or disconnect from our partner to protect ourselves. Neither tactic creates more closeness or love in our relationship.

In today's hectic world, if we aren’t mindful, it doesn't take long for two people in a loving relationship to unknowingly let outer pressures override quality time together. It’s easy to get caught up in daily demands so much that we can even begin to feel that our partner is the problem, or at least they’re a hassle. And just as easy, is to "fall out of love."

A client once said to me, “I feel like I’m bleeding to death from a million tiny cuts.”

As a couple, we can fall into an antagonistic relationship habit without even realizing it, such as continually digging up the past or neglecting to dedicate quality time to the relationship. We begin doing the very things that damage a strong and healthy relationship. Sometimes, even small, annoying relationship habits begin to create static and strife, replacing true connection.

Estimated reading time: 6 minutes

Relationships are perhaps the most difficult yoga there is. Even though love connects us together, the stresses of our busy lives work against us. Add to this stress the multitude of differences, getting along in marriage can be challenging.

We might even begin to wonder why we're in the relationship at all. Have you ever said, "My messy husband is driving me crazy!"? Or "The fighting is driving me crazy!" when you're referring to a daily argument? Or "Why is relationship so hard!?"

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

Last week I saw an advertisement that said: "Compromise is for marriage, but never for wine!" It made me think about how in our culture, we accept that relationships require compromise. In one article I read, the author said, "Compromise—no matter how difficult—is a necessary part of any successful, enduring marriage."

The idea was that once we say "for better or for worse," we need to get used to making concessions to the other person when settling our conflicts. So what if afterward, we're resentful, discouraged, disappointed, frustrated, and disillusioned? Get over it—compromise is just [...]

After 10+ years of marriage, life together can feel pretty predictable. We know the other person’s patterns and how they will probably react to certain situations. And, like the Clint Eastwood film, this predictability can often lead to what I call “The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly” in our relationship.

Here's my marriage advice to handle the boredom and the bumps.

Estimated reading time: 3 minutes

Why is it so difficult for people to ask for help? Is it because we associate asking for help with vulnerability, with being weak, with not being enough?

Everyone's experience is unique, but vulnerability doesn't come easy for many people.

Estimated reading time: 3 minutes

At a gathering of about thirty women, the subject of trustworthiness came up. Many of the women who were present did not feel comfortable sharing within their communities about the struggles they’d had in their lives and relationships. What a shame, when openness and sharing allow us to give and receive support!

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes