Heartmanity's Blog

_{When it comes to marriage and keeping love alive, communication is key. Most couples would agree that for communication to be effective with your partner, it is best to come from a place of love. However, that may sound easier said than done, especially if you and your partner argue constantly! So, what is fair play in arguments? It's unrealistic to think that we will never have disagreements in marriage. But is there a line you should not cross?}

Estimated reading time: 6 minutes

If you're around children—or even adults—for any length of time, you will eventually hear "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it" or "I'm sorry, it wasn't my intention to hurt you." And then the child or person goes along their merry way like nothing ever happened.But if we didn't mean it, why did we do it? Why do we so easily dismiss our behavior with a casual comment?

Estimated reading time: 5 minutes

In a Wall Street Journal article, columnist Elizabeth Bernstein writes about the challenge of marriage between an ardent planner and a partner who prefers to be spontaneous. Perhaps you’ve known people in a marriage like that—or maybe you’re one of them! In my work with couples, I have heard many a planner call their spouse passive-aggressive or the spontaneous one refer to their spouse as a control freak. Regardless of differences, marriage conflict is inevitable!

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

Do you ever wonder why your relationship has to be so hard? Do you find yourself in small rifts with your partner daily or big, blowout fights regularly? You're not alone. A common difficulty in relationships is often recurring arguments. What can you do when your love relationship meant to replenish and support you, exhausts and depletes you instead?

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

How's your work-life balance? Do you ever feel like your life is too busy for living—like there's just not enough time for authentic connection with those you love? And are you fooled to believe it's a time management problem?

Estimated reading time: 4.5 minutes

It's been said that relationships are the hardest yoga. I agree that relationships take the same focus, effort, and flexibility. In marriage and other romantic relationships, as in yoga, we salute the sun each day, seeking to honor the best in ourselves, our partner, and our lives together. We bend by adapting to life's unexpected curveballs; we twist when we wrestle with conflict; and we stretch by striving to love our partner even when it's not always easy. And when we seek poise between autonomy and intimacy, it can be as challenging as a one-armed side plank.

As a couple, have you ever wondered, "Why does a relationship has to be so hard?" Do you feel sometimes like you're raising another child instead of having an equal partner? Are you exhausted from all the talking about change, yet nothing changes? Is your spouse expecting things you don't think are fair? Do you feel guilty when you take care of yourself because you "should" be...?

If you answered "yes" to even one of these questions, keep reading to get off of the cul-de-sac of human drama.

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

When I was growing up, my oldest brother was a national chess champion—at least through my young eyes. He taught me a lot about the game, and chess taught me about the game of life. Chess is an extraordinarily complex game with unlimited possibilities. For example, after only three moves apiece, there are more than 10 million possible placement combinations of the pieces! Each decision made in chess paves the way to success or failure, just as in life and relationship.

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

Relationships, like everything, have specific keys and habits that either make them easier, more successful, and happier or harder, less successful, and unhappy. Do you know what relationship habits are needed for a happy marriage? Have you shifted into cruise control in your relationship and only think good intentions, but don’t act on them? Or do you make daily choices and actions to intentionally love your partner?