Visionary Parenting

September 16, 2016

It’s easy to get wrapped up in the stress of hectic day-to-day activities with our families and children and fail to do our best parenting. We can all too easily react to our children’s testy (and testing!) behavior without even thinking. Most parents don’t realize that in our knee-jerk reactions, we are giving our children unhelpful messages that do not teach them how to become capable adults.

Posted in Parenting Favorites

Is Teenage Rebellion Normal?

March 15, 2016
When I was teaching a parenting class a few years ago, a mother told the story of the time her son came home from kindergarten with green hair. She went ballistic as soon as she saw him. When I asked what triggered her anger, she replied, "All I could see was a teenager standing there with green hair, tattoos, a ring in his nose, and a chain belt hanging from his waist." Her mind had catapulted her into some imaginary future scene, and her fear set off a chain reaction. In fact, the green hair was left over from a Saint Patrick's Day celebration at school. The teachers had dyed the [...]

Posted in Parenting Favorites

Comparison: Thief to Your Child’s Self-Esteem

December 21, 2015

My guess is that there’s hardly a parent in the world who hasn’t said something like this to a child in a moment of exasperation:

“Look at your brother—he jumps right on his homework after school! Why do I always have to nag you to get yours done?”

“Your sister’s a whiz at math, but all you want to do is draw.”

Posted in Parents: Permission to Be Imperfect, Parenting Favorites

Praise - Sweet Destroyer of Self-Esteem

May 14, 2015
I recently came across an excellent 2005 article in USA Today online, titled: " Yep, Life'll Burst That Self-Esteem Bubble," which eloquently outlines some of the flaws in the self-esteem movement that originated in the '70s and '80s. The reason this topic caught my eye was that I'm currently teaching a parenting class of very sincere and eager parents. In one of the latest sessions we talked about how self-esteem is built and the difference between external and internal motivation.

Posted in Emotional Intelligence & Fitness, Parenting Favorites

Are You Teaching Your Child Self-Control?

May 19, 2014

You’re in a grocery store and your 5-year-old asks to buy a candy bar at the checkout stand. You calmly but firmly say no. Before you can turn back to the checkout person, your child is on the floor kicking and screaming! What do you do?

Posted in Parents: Permission to Be Imperfect, Parenting Favorites

Myths and Misconceptions about Discipline

January 15, 2014
Parenting is a difficult and complex job. No one who has ever been a parent will argue this point. However, one of the reasons that parenting is so hard is not because children are difficult but because we do not know how to parent consciously from a free place. When we are able to modulate our own emotions and reactions in response to their behavior, we can then respond from a much more loving place.

Posted in Parents: Permission to Be Imperfect, Parenting Favorites

Bridling the Gusto of a Toddler: from Trantrums to Tranquility

May 16, 2012

Imagine for a moment that you are a newborn. Mom and Dad are ecstatic about your every little move. Every milestone invokes major attention and is fully photographed and documented: your birth, your first smile, your first word, your first food, your first haircut. Everyone gathers to watch you roll over, sit up, and take your first step. There are looks of adoration and coos oozing from every face that greets you. Everything revolves around you! You are the center of the universe for two whole years!

Posted in Parents: Permission to Be Imperfect, Parenting Favorites

Homework Without Hassles

September 07, 2011
Now that school is in full swing, it will take some adjustment to get back into the routine of daily study. During the school year, I often hear complaints from parents about their constant struggle with their children and teens to do their homework. The list is long, but here are the most frequent: children and teens put off their homework and wait until the last minute for long-term projects; they do a poor job; they refuse to do homework; or they lean too heavily on their parents' assistance. Disciplined study habits, academic fortitude and the ability to focus do not develop quickly. [...]

Posted in Parents: Permission to Be Imperfect, Parenting Favorites

Is Velcro Destroying Motivation in Our Kids?

April 14, 2011

Lately I have been listening to moms frustrated with their children's lack of motivation. They are perplexed about why they must nag their children to do homework or their teens to complete chores. When I ask, "Have you taught them how to tie their shoes?" they are taken aback."What do you mean? Anthony is fourteen—of course he knows how to tie his own shoes!"

Posted in Parents: Permission to Be Imperfect, Parenting Favorites