Falling Out of Love

April 26, 2018

In our very active and full lives, it is so easy to get caught up in the daily demands of our life and sacrifice love. Many struggling couples ask me, "Can you fall out of love?"

The truth is, love requires nurturing. No matter how deeply you love someone, if you allow weeds to grow in your relationship, they can crowd out love and choke the life right out of your marriage. It doesn't take long for two people in a loving relationship to become distant or "fall out of love." Because of the day-in, day-out details we are continually juggling in our lives, we can slip into autopilot in ways [...]

Posted in Love, Marriage, and Relationships

7 Ways to Infuse Love into Your Marriage

March 20, 2018

The love is there—it just might have ebbed to the fringes a bit.

It happens. Not just after a “honeymoon” phase, the literal honeymoon, the first child or the third, but possibly throughout it all. The feeling of love in a marriage can naturally wax and wane.

Here are seven ways to welcome it back to the heart of your relationship.

Posted in Love, Marriage, and Relationships

How to Handle Distracting Technology at Home

March 01, 2018

You are now competing with pixels for the attention of nearly everyone you know. And you are probably losing.  

Technology addiction, screen time, the black hole of the internet, Reddit and the endless scroll of Instagram—not to mention those notifications every time an email slides in...the widespread influence of tech is a thing of daily life for most American families. There are more ways for screens to suck people in than there are people to be enticed.

The other day, my dog got so caught up in a Game of Thrones episode that she wouldn’t come when I called (there were wolves on the [...]

Posted in Love, Marriage, and Relationships, Brain Fitness, Mindfulness and Perspective

Transform Criticism to Appreciation and Triple Your Love!

January 02, 2018

It’s common to hear couples complain about different behaviors of their partners while wishing their life could be happier. Somehow, we think that if our partner changed, we would be happier. Or we think, “If my partner would stop annoying me or start appreciating me, or be more intimate with me, our relationship would improve.”

Posted in Love, Marriage, and Relationships

Let Go of Expectations and Start Enjoying Your Relationship

August 28, 2017

“I’ll be home on the first….if everything goes according to the plan.”

He didn’t need to say those last seven words. That caveat—if everything goes as planned—is a given in every conversation with my longtime boyfriend, who works as an officer in the US armed forces. Like knowing that your partner loves you even when he doesn’t say it in so many words, I know that our life is subject to change with little or no warning.

Always assume that nothing will go according to the plan.

He arrived home over two weeks late. That is beyond a “stuck at the office” or “your dinner got cold” [...]

Posted in Love, Marriage, and Relationships

What Every Couple Can Learn from Military Relationships

June 19, 2017

Not every couple will struggle with glitchy Skype connections during months apart, the U.S. Government interrupting dinner, or the strain Top Secret secrets place on two people in love. Military relationships are subject to a laundry list of struggles—and joys—that others don’t have. But at the heart of military relationship challenges are the same human issues that every couple navigates.

Posted in Love, Marriage, and Relationships, Emotional Intelligence & Fitness

The Stop, Drop, and Roll of Successful Communication

August 02, 2016

Most of us (especially parents) know what to do if our clothes catch fire: STOP, DROP, and ROLL. But do we know what to do if our relationship catches fire?

Our relationship may function smoothly and harmoniously most of the time. But when a conflict does arise, we may find out that we just don’t know how to resolve it. Many times, the problem lies in our lack of communication skills.

We all want to feel heard and understood. If we don’t know how to establish real connection through effective communication in our love relationship, we may find ourselves competing within the relationship [...]

Posted in Love, Marriage, and Relationships, Communication & Interpersonal Skills

Can One Person Transform a Relationship?

May 18, 2016

It sounds impossible, right? After all, it takes two to tango. How can one person transform a relationship without the other one on board? Well, it does take two to tango, but if one dancer knows exactly what they're doing and practices often, he/she can teach their partner how to be a better dancer without them even knowing it. It may sound a little sly and tricky, but in some cases, it's just what a couple needs to make the shift from bitterness to bliss.

Posted in Love, Marriage, and Relationships

Relationship Rescue: Turn Complaints into Closeness

November 04, 2015

In my first meeting with struggling couples, they often deluge me with complaints about their marriage or relationship, listing everything they don't like about their partner and blaming each other. But when I ask them what they want instead, they usually come up blank and say, "I don't know." To create what we want—whether in relationships or in our lives—we have to know what we want! It's easy to slip into negative thinking patterns, because the brain is always alert to spot what's wrong in order to keep us safe. But complaining and blaming only lead to misery and the deterioration of [...]

Posted in Love, Marriage, and Relationships, Emotional Intelligence & Fitness

Get a Fresh Perspective in Your Committed Relationship!

December 02, 2014

We may have hard heads but we don’t have rock-solid hearts—our hearts are soft and vulnerable. In committed relationships, we need a lot of understanding to build bridges, especially when our needs collide with our partner’s.

One of the things we tend to do is personalize our partner’s behavior when they are acting out their stress or unresolved emotions. When we personalize their behavior, our feelings often get hurt—and then we sometimes either lash out or disconnect from our partner to protect ourselves. Neither tactic creates more closeness or love in our relationship.

Posted in Love, Marriage, and Relationships

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