If you’re a new mompreneur or knee-deep into a career, you’re most likely familiar with this scene:
Family life is hectic, especially in the evenings: meal prep, dinner, clean-up, homework, bath, and bedtime. Finally, all the children are asleep, and you’re settling in to catch your breath. Then, a familiar reel starts playing in your mind. It’s the highlight reel of everything you didn’t do today.
Estimated reading time: 5 minutes
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You were short with the kids at dinner because you were thinking about that proposal. You missed the extra bedtime story because you had to respond to one last urgent message. You served frozen pizza for the second time this week.
Then, the reel flips. You didn’t send that follow-up email. You didn’t finish the proposal today. You were distracted during the client call because your son had a fever. Swirling underneath it all, the thought, “Am I a bad mom?”
Working mom guilt—a very familiar feeling for many.
Guilt that you’re not doing enough for your business.
Guilt that you’re not doing enough for your family. It’s the constant pressure that comes with trying to balance career and family—and it is the single biggest thief of joy for mompreneurs.
As a mom of three grown children and the founder of a thriving business, I’ve spent decades on the front lines of this internal conquest and the leap over those late-night guilt sessions.
Work-Life Balance and True Freedom Don't Come from Perfect
What I’ve learned is that the advice to “find your work-life balance” is a trap. It sets an impossible standard that ensures we always feel like we’re failing.
True freedom doesn’t come from achieving a perfect balance. It comes from learning how to release the guilt while focusing on what is important. It comes from having practical, in-the-trenches strategies that allow you to be fully present where you are—whether it's at home or at work.
To protect our life-work balance, we must make wise choices so that when we lie our head on the pillow at night, we feel satisfied, even proud, instead of defeated.
3 Working Mom Secrets to Sanity
I’m not going to tell you that you have superpowers you don’t recognize. My other articles cover that. Today, I want to give you something different: tactical gear. Below are three powerful, guilt-releasing secrets I've learned on my journey. They are practical and actionable—and they work!
Mompreneur Secret #1: The “Good Enough” Mindset
Perfectionism is the killer of completion and exhilarant for guilt. It’s the voice that tells you the lunch you packed wasn’t Pinterest-worthy, the email you sent had a typo, or the project you completed was only 98% perfect.
As mompreneurs, we are uniquely susceptible to imposter syndrome because we care so deeply about both of our “babies”—our children and our businesses.
The single most powerful shift I ever made was adopting what I call the “Good Enough” Doctrine.
This mantra wasn’t about lowering my standards or embracing mediocrity; anyone who knows me will tell you that my standards are super high. Adopting “good enough” is cutting yourself slack when pushing yourself is detrimental; letting yourself breathe deeply, knowing you did your best. It’s the 80-20 rule.
One of the quotes that has comforted me on my toughest days is on a favorite coffee cup:
“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes, courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’”
~Mary Anne Radmacher
This quote is one I live by. As long as I know that I've given wholeheartedly throughout my day, I rest in the warm embrace of self-acceptance. When the day is done, I give myself self-love and acceptance because I KNOW I have done my best to be present and live by my values.
My high standards are upheld first and foremost in my relationships: honest, authentic, and mindfully present and loving. This focus and commitment guide me whether I’m with a client or a new prospect, my husband, children (or now a grandchild), or a friend.
“Good enough” is how we intentionally frame our day, where “good enough” is not only acceptable but brilliantly supports our goals, our best self, the heart of our motherhood and a thriving business.
There’s a fabulous analogy used by Brian Dyson (the former CEO of Coca-Cola) in the 1996 Commencement speech at Georgia Institute of Technology.
“Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling five balls in the air. You name them—work, family, health, friends and spirit—and you're keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls—family, health, friends and spirit—are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same.”
The Practical Shift:
At the beginning of your week, look at your to-do list and sort your tasks into two columns: “Glass Balls” and “Rubber Balls.”
- Glass Balls: These are the things that, if you drop them, will shatter. They have real, lasting consequences. This value might be assigned to the final delivery of a high-ticket client project, attending your daughter’s dance recital she’s been working on for months, resolving a conflict with your spouse, or a critical self-care day to recharge. These are the few areas where you aim for excellence.
- Rubber Balls: These are the things that, if you drop them, will bounce. They might create a temporary mess or get noisy, but they won’t break. They’ll wait for you like a parking meter until you’re ready. The value of these items and relationships might include things like a perfectly clean house, an elaborate home-cooked meal every night, or a non-urgent internal business task. For these tasks, your goal is not perfection; it’s completion. “Good enough” is the new perfect.
When you consciously categorize your tasks this way, you give yourself permission to not be a superhero in every area of your life. You can serve that frozen pizza with zero guilt because you’ve identified “gourmet dinner” as a rubber ball tonight, freeing up your energy for a glass ball, like helping your son with his science project.
You can send a clear but imperfect email because you know that getting the message out (a rubber ball) is more important than agonizing over perfection when a glass ball—like your child’s doctor’s appointment—is timely, vital, and won’t wait.
For instance, one of my rubber balls was baking. I accepted that I didn’t have to be the one to bake chocolate-chip cookies for my kids. I could surprise them with freshly made cookie dough they could bake, or with some delicious croissants from a bakery.
When we prioritize strategically, we are deliberately choosing where to focus our finite time and energy.
Our values dictate our choices.
Relationships have always been tops in my world: building thriving, loving relationships. So, that was one way I measured how important an action was: Would it be an emotional deposit or a withdrawal?
This compassionate mindset is an antidote to procrastination and perfectionism.
Getting clear on what truly matters to you will bring inner peace.
Also, a bonus to this way of juggling work-family-life is that the more gracious and intentional we are, the more present we are. When we are more present, we connect more easily, build trust faster, and invest in what matters most. Then, if we miss a soccer game or work late occasionally, our family understands and supports our choices.
At the end of each day, we are resting in the acceptance that we have devoted ourselves to what’s most important, moment by moment.
Mompreneur Secret #2: The Weekly “CEO Date”
One of the biggest sources of business guilt is the feeling that you’re always working IN your business (answering emails, serving clients, putting out fires) but never ON your business (big vision work, strategic planning, marketing, creating new products and offers). This high-level thinking time is the first thing to get sacrificed when our child gets sick or a family need arises unexpectedly.
This necessary diversion leads to nagging anxiety that your business isn’t growing, which often creates guilt and makes you feel like you need to work more... and longer. In turn, our work takes more time from your family… and the cycle continues. To balance career and family effectively, you must protect your time to be the CEO of not only your business but of your life!
The solution is to schedule a non-negotiable, weekly “CEO Date” with yourself.
The Practical Shift:
Look at your calendar for the upcoming week and block out a 60- to 90-minute slot. This is your CEO Date. Treat it with the same respect you would a meeting with your most important client or investor. Adding this appointment to your calendar ensures that it is top of mind and time is reserved for it.
I used to do this, but then delete my CEO date with myself to schedule clients, which backfired because, as my business grew and I got busier, sometimes clear direction was lacking.
You are the CEO of your business. You must lead it, or it will run your life.
If your kids are in school or you have childcare for younger children, you can schedule this dedicated time during the day. Put it on the calendar, close your office door, and do focused work.
If you don't have dedicated childcare, get creative.
Can you trade off with your partner? Can you do the visionary work at 6 a.m. before the kids wake up? (I'm not a morning person, so this one didn't work for me.) Can you hire a babysitter for just those 90 minutes a week?
During focused time, do not do any day-to-day tasks, or this precious time will be devoured by inconsequential items. This “CEO date” is your time for big-picture thinking.
Here are some possible uses for this time:
- Map out your marketing content for the month.
- Outline a new service or product.
- Review your finances and set income goals.
- Set a two- or five-year goal for your business and reverse
engineer it to the present - Define your top values for your company culture and identify the behaviors that align with those values.
- Establish meaningful, impactful metrics to guide your decisions.
- Simply sit with yourself and dream about the future of your business.
- Sketch or write whatever comes to you in a journal. Many types of journaling can prime the pump of insights you might otherwise miss.
The return on investment will be immense.
Dedicated strategic time will help eliminate the guilt of feeling like you’re neglecting your business growth. Knowing that you have a dedicated time reserved for visionary, big thinking will allow you to be more present (and less anxious) when you’re in “mom mode” or “on the job at work” the rest of the week.
Related reading: "The EQ Advantage: Why Your Mom Skills Make You a Better Entrepreneur."
Mompreneur Secret #3: Saying “No” with Conviction, a Guilt-Free Formula
Recognize that every time you say “yes” to something, you’re saying no to something else.
Are your yeses aligned with your business vision, goals, and values?
Are they giving you the relationship and quality time you want with your children and family?
If not, guilt will take hold.
There’s so much comfort—and power—in knowing that we have clearly defined what is important to us.
Clarity is power. Without it, we make decisions that silently steal from our family time, well-being, or the most important business tasks.
Saying no and setting healthy boundaries can be challenging for women who are natural givers and nurturers. It was one of the most difficult lessons I had to learn, especially as a former people-pleaser. Saying no can feel like we are letting someone down, a direct trigger for guilt. To overcome this haunting feeling, you need a practical formula—a script that allows you to decline with grace, confidence, and zero guilt.
You can achieve peace with boundaries by using this 3-Step Formula:
STEP 1 = PAUSE to check in with yourself and your values.
ASK YOURSELF:Self/Family/Quality of Life and Relationships:
-
"Does this action or decision align with and support my highest values and goals?"
- "Is this action loving to both my family and myself?"
- "Will my action count toward building more loving relationships?
-
"Does this action increase the health and success of my business? Or is it busy work?
- "Am I using my time to do high-impact activities?
- Is this action a high-income-producing activity?" (If not, you will spend more time away from your family.)
STEP 2 = CENTER in clarity
- "Will this action or decision stress me or empower me?"
- If you're torn between conflicting emotions, sort them out before saying yes.
- "Is this request, favor, or action ill-timed?" If so, find a win-win and postpone.
STEP 3 = RESPOND with a respectful "no."
- Begin with acknowledgment and gratitude.
Examples:
"Thank you so much for the invitation. However, my time this month is already fully committed."
"I appreciate your efforts and passion in this cause. It would be an honor to be a part of such an endeavor. Unfortunately, I will be unable to join you due to my other commitments. I give 100% to what I commit to and that would not be possible."
"I would love to babysit and spend time with your kids. This weekend won't work for me. Could we plan for a day next month?" - Be loving, respectfully firm in your resolve. Deliver your response with clarity. Getting in touch with your values and what is most important to you helps you decline guilt-free.
This formula is a game-changer. It allows you to protect your time and energy, the two most crucial resources you have to balance career and family, while still being kind and respectful. It’s a fabulous tool for shedding the guilt of people-pleasing.
Closing Thoughts
Building a business while raising a family is one of the most challenging AND rewarding endeavors a person can undertake. The path is not a straight line, and it is certainly imperfect. Be prepared for messy days and moments of doubt.
Yet, your path does not have to be paved with guilt.
By adopting the “Good Enough” Doctrine, scheduling your weekly CEO Date, and mastering the Guilt-Free No, you can take back control and build a thriving business and family!
Visit Heartmanity for Business to learn more about our services. If you'd like to hire Jennifer for executive coaching or leadership training, contact me!
