Quickly Avoid Power Struggles with Children Using Empathy

December 06, 2018

Sometimes I get wildly angry at screens—whether an Xbox or TV—and my children’s inability to end their session the second I ask them. If I wasn't so frugally and environmentally driven, I might be tempted to throw screens out of moving vehicles and second story windows.

But then, my empathy kicks in; sometimes faster than other times. I remember what it’s like to be deeply immersed in something and suddenly asked to stop. If I’m engrossed in reading a book, texting a friend, writing a letter, or brushing my teeth, it’s unlikely that I’ll stop doing the activity at the exact moment I am [...]

Posted in Perfectly Imperfect Parenting

Teens and Screens: Does Your Child Have Screen Addiction?

November 12, 2018

Internet Addiction, Texting Addiction, Screen Addiction, and Gaming Addiction are all phrases we hear in modern times but are they really a thing? Well, yes they are and no they are not. What?! Keep on reading to see why this is not a clear-cut answer.

Posted in Perfectly Imperfect Parenting

Why Selfie Care Is Vital for Parents

October 30, 2018

Why have selfies become a trend? And do we take a selfie only when we look our best? Probably not during a fight with your spouse or after a day of power struggles with your toddler or teen. 

Could the preoccupation with Facebook along with snapping selfies and posting pictures on Snapchat be a sign of how invisible we feel to ourselves? Maybe, maybe not. But there is a form of invisibility to ourselves that often goes unnoticed—a lack of self-care.

Posted in Perfectly Imperfect Parenting

Social Media Is Social Currency for Teens

October 04, 2018

The term "social media" did not even exist in mainstream culture when I had my first son in 2004. My mother and I still wrote snail-mail and email letters back and forth and talked on the phone. That is how I kept in contact with all my out-of-town loved ones, and as for my in-town peeps, it was face-to-face get-togethers and phone calls with occasional emails to coordinate plans that involved more than a few of us.Going back a bit further, the social currency for young people in my era was notes written during class and passed in the halls, phone calls, and chat gatherings in the corners [...]

Posted in Perfectly Imperfect Parenting

Teens and Screens—Why Do Teens Love Screens So Much?

October 01, 2018

There is endless content online (ironic isn’t it!?!) about screens, internet use, gaming, safety, addiction, sleep deprivation, and how to set limits. So much content that a person (ME!) can spend hours on a screen just learning about how to deal with screens, so why write more?

At Heartmanity, we want to approach screens, tech, safety, limits, and the like through the understanding of emotional needs, relationships, empathy, compassion, brain science, and love, which are not common approaches used in most available content. So, that being said, let’s look at why teens love screens so much.

Posted in Perfectly Imperfect Parenting

Why Helicopter Parents Stunt a Child's Self-Reliance

August 04, 2018

Parenting is an elaborate and complex job that changes with each age as a child develops. Since our primary responsibility is to keep our children safe while providing a stable home, it’s understandable how involved—even overprotective—parents can become. However, the older a child gets, the less control we have as parents. (Every parent that has given their teenager the keys to the family car knows what I mean!) Therefore, the need for children and teens to make wise decisions is a great reason to help them build strong self-reliance and emotional intelligence.

Most parents have good [...]

Posted in Perfectly Imperfect Parenting

Parents, Do You Have an Illusion of Control?

July 19, 2018

Let's face it; life can tire a person out! When you add up the jobs, romance (or lack of romance), friendship, parenting, being someone’s adult child yourself, self-care, sleeping, eating, exercising, being “tired out” can just grow and grow.

For many of us, the more we take on, the more stressed and tired we become. To compensate for the overwhelming feelings of being more and more out of control, we try to do even more. This tactic is a futile attempt to give ourselves and others the illusion that we “have it all together.” However, maybe we should release that illusion of control.

Posted in Perfectly Imperfect Parenting

Parenting with the End in Mind—Theirs Not Yours!

July 05, 2018

This is going to be quick and sweet. When we parent, in the toughest moments of discomfort, challenge, and testing, we need to remember that we are parenting not only the 3-year-old child in front of us but also the 13-year-old teen in front of us, the 23-year-old young adult in front of us, and the 33-year-old adult in front of us … you get the point.

A vital path of successful parenting is to parent with the end in mind. Visionary parenting is another way of describing this mindset. Discipline, love, structure, boundaries, empathy, and redirecting children’s behavior all contribute to [...]

Posted in Perfectly Imperfect Parenting

Parents Need Self-Care to Be Their Best Self

May 11, 2018

You put the oxygen mask on yourself before others.

We hear that lesson reiterated often. But in practice—when a parent thinks their child needs help—what is their gut instinct?

Self-care for parents is a challenging issue, and yet parents need self-care to be their best self. Balancing work and home life with a career, socializing, financial issues, a marriage or relationship, and raising kids makes being a parent a difficult juggling act.

How can parents find time for their own wellness amidst the hustle?

Posted in Perfectly Imperfect Parenting

Conscious Parenting and Heartprints for Our Children

May 08, 2018

Every parent is unique; every child is unique. All parents love their children, and all children love their parents—no matter how imperfectly. But do we truly take stock as parents of how we are imprinting our children through our daily interactions? As children grow up their identity is woven in large part by the parental messages and responses (or imprints) that they receive throughout their childhood.

As parents, we are constantly imprinting our emotions, our attitudes and biases, our values and principles, and our habits and preferences through every interaction—either consciously or [...]

Posted in Perfectly Imperfect Parenting