Resilience is defined as the capacity to recover quickly from hardship or difficulties. We've all known difficulties. However, it is how we respond to what happens to us that determines how we greet the future. Without resiliency, life's hardships can weigh us down, and we become an unbending tree that breaks off in the high winds of a storm.

Estimated reading: 3 minutes

Most people think when they please someone, their action is kind. Yes, their action may impact others positively. It feels good for a person to do things for us, to help us out in a time of need, to volunteer on a committee, or watch our kids for a couple of hours.

However, if this act of supposed kindness is wrong or even hurtful to the giver, it’s not kindness. It’s people-pleasing.

Estimated reading time: 5 minutes

We are all too familiar with the blame game. When we’re upset or exasperated in life, blaming our spouse, child, friend, or boss is an easy route to relief.

You know the drill: “If you wouldn’t procrastinate fixing things around the house, then I wouldn’t nag.”

Or if you weren’t so sensitive, we could discuss things calmer.”

And sometimes a person moves to name-calling: “You’re so frustrating or selfish or hurtful or ….”

Estimated reading time: 6 minutes

Is the concept of minimalism a limiting framework? To me, minimalism appeared simply to be the denial of our desires.

Since our brains are built on the premise of more, better, and always transcending yesterday, the concept seemed like a trendy girdle to hold back the grand expressions of self-expression. At the very least, I viewed a minimalist life as boring because of my love affair with abundance, flow, variety, and beauty.Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

Whether you are aware of it or not, dysregulated emotions can hijack your energy and behavior, causing a distorted view of life's experiences.

The inner chatter driven by anxiety, emotional dysregulation, and knee-jerk reactions rarely creates good results. Understanding what's happening in your brain and learning self-regulation can give you calmer responses, reduced anxiety, and enhanced well-being.

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

Note: In this post, when we talk about "safety," we're referring to emotional safety. If someone's anger makes you feel physically unsafe, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.

What do you do when someone takes their anger out on you? How do you handle angry people? And why do people get angry in the first place?

It's natural to have lots of questions when faced with anger, but often what we're searching for isn't answers—it's safety. Anger threatens our sense of emotional security, leaving us feeling uncertain about our relationships with others.

A pervasive pattern has quietly invaded our culture—people-pleasing. Compliance and pleasing are woven into the very fabric of etiquette and social norms. Children quickly discover that pleasing their caregivers and keeping them happy pays off and prevents unpleasant consequences.

Children need to be loved and cared for to survive; their basic needs drive them to acquiesce in thousands of ways. Adults are bigger, faster, smarter, and stronger, so it’s often futile to go against the grain. This behavior is natural for children dependent on adults, yet, when this habit persists into adulthood, [...]

Overcoming is an oxymoron. We are in charge of our lives, so when we say we want to "overcome" a bad habit, we’re actually saying that we are giving our power to something that we don’t approve of. We can’t “overcome” ourselves. Real and lasting change comes from self-love and acceptance.

So why do we keep doing things that we know are detrimental to our health?

Do you know what motivates you? Does it ever seem like some people are more motivated than others? And what's the difference between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation anyway? 

Whether you're trying to motivate yourself to write a term paper, to lose weight, or you're an employer endeavoring to motivate an employee, it's critical knowing what turns on the green light in the brain. And motivation is unique depending on temperament, values, past experience, and goals.

Estimated reading time: 6 minutes

Has another person's behavior really set you off? Perhaps your co-worker took credit for one of your ideas, or your spouse talked over you and quickly dismissed your feelings. Or maybe a good friend betrayed your confidence.

You react and feel justified in lashing out because of what someone else did. Life appears to happen to us, doesn't it?Estimated reading time: 4 minutes