We may not be able to control unexpected events in life, but we can control our outlook, attitude, perspective, and how we respond to events. And setting and achieving goals we set for ourselves is also something you have power.

Setting and writing down goals with a plan to achieve them has been shown to increase the likelihood of their attainment. Why not set a goal to improve your emotional fitness? Just like physical fitness, you can become emotionally literate and learn to regulate your emotions for better results in life and relationships.

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

When my husband and I got together, children were brought into my life for the first time. Once married, the adjustment to living and interacting with two children was a steep learning curve for me. Navigating daily life together, communicating between households, and adapting to different routines all required constant adjustment, and still does nearly four years later. 

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

Resilience is defined as the capacity to recover quickly from hardship or difficulties. We've all known difficulties. However, it is how we respond to what happens to us that determines how we greet the future. Without resiliency, life's hardships can weigh us down, and we become an unbending tree that breaks off in the high winds of a storm.

Estimated reading: 3 minutes

Most people think when they please someone, their action is kind. Yes, their action may impact others positively. It feels good for a person to do things for us, to help us out in a time of need, to volunteer on a committee, or watch our kids for a couple of hours.

However, if this act of supposed kindness is wrong or even hurtful to the giver, it’s not kindness. It’s people-pleasing.

Estimated reading time: 5 minutes

We are all too familiar with the blame game. When we’re upset or exasperated in life, blaming our spouse, child, friend, or boss is an easy route to relief.

You know the drill: “If you wouldn’t procrastinate fixing things around the house, then I wouldn’t nag.”

Or if you weren’t so sensitive, we could discuss things calmer.”

And sometimes a person moves to name-calling: “You’re so frustrating or selfish or hurtful or ….”

Estimated reading time: 6 minutes

Is the concept of minimalism a limiting framework? To me, minimalism appeared simply to be the denial of our desires.

Since our brains are built on the premise of more, better, and always transcending yesterday, the concept seemed like a trendy girdle to hold back the grand expressions of self-expression. At the very least, I viewed a minimalist life as boring because of my love affair with abundance, flow, variety, and beauty.Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

Whether you are aware of it or not, dysregulated emotions can hijack your energy and behavior, causing a distorted view of life's experiences.

The inner chatter driven by anxiety, emotional dysregulation, and knee-jerk reactions rarely creates good results. Understanding what's happening in your brain and learning self-regulation can give you calmer responses, reduced anxiety, and enhanced well-being.

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

Note: In this post, when we talk about "safety," we're referring to emotional safety. If someone's anger makes you feel physically unsafe, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.

What do you do when someone takes their anger out on you? How do you handle angry people? And why do people get angry in the first place?

It's natural to have lots of questions when faced with anger, but often what we're searching for isn't answers—it's safety. Anger threatens our sense of emotional security, leaving us feeling uncertain about our relationships with others.

A pervasive pattern has quietly invaded our culture—people-pleasing. Compliance and pleasing are woven into the very fabric of etiquette and social norms. Children quickly discover that pleasing their caregivers and keeping them happy pays off and prevents unpleasant consequences.

Children need to be loved and cared for to survive; their basic needs drive them to acquiesce in thousands of ways. Adults are bigger, faster, smarter, and stronger, so it’s often futile to go against the grain. This behavior is natural for children dependent on adults, yet, when this habit persists into adulthood, [...]

Overcoming is an oxymoron. We are in charge of our lives, so when we say we want to "overcome" a bad habit, we’re actually saying that we are giving our power to something that we don’t approve of. We can’t “overcome” ourselves. Real and lasting change comes from self-love and acceptance.

So why do we keep doing things that we know are detrimental to our health?