When my kids were still in the baby zone, I left them and my husband for four glorious days in New York City with a couple of close girlfriends. I was worried that I would miss the family, but instead, I thoroughly enjoyed every single moment of freedom. Shortly after returning, I met with Jennifer of Heartmanity and cried my heart out, mourning the fact that that sense of freedom had come and gone so quickly. It felt like a whole year to wait until I could do something like that again. But I discovered something else instead.
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes
Perspective Changes Everything!
Jennifer explained that I should be able to feel that free every day. “Yeah, right!” I thought, adjusting my imaginary burka. I really didn’t believe her.
There was no way that the monotony that came along with these daily routines involving small kids, a husband, work, and bills could ever feel like freedom.
A time later, I caught myself finding these blissful moments within everyday situations. I noticed feeling genuinely happy during activities that used to feel monotonous. What was different?
My perspective.
Grocery shopping with a child in tow, working, having dinner with my husband, hanging out in the backyard with kids—many times throughout the day, I felt a sense of gratitude and inner peace instead of a sense of suffocation.
Nothing had changed except my perspective, being intentional in what I put my attention on.
It was then that I realized that Jennifer was right all along. Everyday life can be extremely satisfying; it should be.
I’m not sure exactly how the shift came about. But I do know that it required a shift in thinking that went something like this:
I’d always heard the cliché “ball and chain” description of marriage, and I started to become a poster child for this slogan. I felt weighed down by my role as a wife and mother. Then I realized (with Jennifer’s help) that my conditioning was partly to blame for these feelings of oppression. Instead of feeling nervous to ask my husband if I could go do things without the family, I simply shared with him how important this was for me. Crazy thing: he didn’t mind at all. Just having that sense of freedom made me feel lighter and happier.
Find Your Freedom by Changing Your Perspective!
Fill Your Tank.
I have realized that I am the kind of person who needs mental stimulation and physical exercise to feel truly alive. I used to feel like both of those things were secondary. How wrong I was.
I now make sure to fit exercise into my daily routine, and I go to social events that are important to me. I know now that when I fill my tank, I am ready and able to approach the rest of my life in a more positive manner. Self-care is no longer a luxury. When I am happy and fulfilled, I am able to help others feel the same way.
Create Your Action.
I’ve joked before that parenting is like the movie “Groundhog Day,” when Bill Murray wakes up and every day is exactly the same as the last. Wake up, make breakfast, get kids off to school, work, pick up kids, dinner, bedtime routine, wake up, do it again, wait for the weekend to have fun. How boring is that?
I’ve learned to be more open to new experiences and create my own, instead of letting life happen to me. If I’m sick of cooking, we’ll go out to eat, eat dinner at the park, have friends over and make it fun.
If we switch it up, then the regular routine is a welcomed change.
Take Time to Be Grateful.
Gratitude is such a common term these days, and rightly so. When I have those moments of bliss in my day, I always try to acknowledge that feeling. The more I acknowledge these times, the more they seem to occur. It’s like a momentum builds up and—often referred to as the Law of Attraction—that acknowledgment attracts more positive experiences like a magnet. Sound weird? Try it, you’ll see. Even consider using visualization and creating a digital vision board.
It’s amazing how far I’ve come since that day of mourning with Jennifer, lamenting about when I would be able to have fun again. Today, I am grateful to find bliss in everyday moments; I don't have to wait for those epic adventures.
How do you find bliss in everyday moments?
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