--- title: Parents, Do You Have an Illusion of Control? description: Parenting is complex, at times difficult; parenting is also fun and rewarding. Yet, our lives are hectic so consider letting go of the illusion of control. image: https://blog.heartmanity.com/hubfs/Father-and-son-having-nap-486902340_2125x1416.jpeg --- [![Heartmanity](https://heartmanity.com/wp-content/files/heartmanity-logo-web.png "Heartmanity")](https://heartmanity.com) [Schedule a Conversation](https://heartmanity.as.me/schedule.php?appointmentType=30172362) [Shop](https://heartmanity-services-products.myshopify.com/) [Join the Community](https://heartmanitycommunity.mn.co/) [Get In Touch](https://heartmanity.com/contact/) - [Home](https://heartmanity.com/) - [Our Focus and Expertise](https://heartmanity.com/our-focus-and-expertise/) - [BrainFitness](https://heartmanity.com/brain-fitness/) - [Emotional Intel](https://heartmanity.com/emotional-intel/) - [Habits for Health](https://heartmanity.com/habits-for-health/) - [Relationship Mastery](https://heartmanity.com/relationship-mastery/) - [About](https://heartmanity.com/about/) - [Individuals](https://heartmanity.com/individuals/) - [No-Nonsense Coaching](https://heartmanity.com/no-nonsense-coaching/) - [Return to Serenity](https://heartmanity.com/return-to-serenity/) - [One-Year Makeover](https://heartmanity.com/one-year-makeover/) - Couples - [Drama-Free Marriage](https://heartmanity.com/drama-free-marriage/) - [Marriage Tune-Up](https://heartmanity.com/resources/drama-free-resources/#tune-up) - [Couples Mentoring](https://heartmanity.com/resources/drama-free-resources/#mentoring) - [Premarital Coaching](https://heartmanity.com/resources/drama-free-resources/#coaching) - [Drama-Free Weddings](https://heartmanity.com/resources/drama-free-resources/#weddings) - Parents - [HeartPrints® Parenting](https://heartmanity.com/heartprints-parenting/) - [Parent Coaching](https://heartmanity.com/resources/heartprints-resources/#coaching) - [Family Coaching](https://heartmanity.com/resources/heartprints-resources/#visits) - [WombPrints](https://heartmanity.com/heartprints-parenting/#wombprints) - [Professionals](https://heartmanity.com/professionals/) - [Heartmanity for Business](https://heartmanity.com/business/) - [Heartlead Business](https://heartmanity.com/heartmanity-for-business/) - [MomPreneurs](https://heartmanity.com/mompreneurs/) - [Resources](https://heartmanity.com/resources/) - [Heartlead Resources](https://heartmanity.com/resources/heartlead-resources/) - [Drama-Free Resources](https://heartmanity.com/resources/drama-free-resources/) - [HeartPrints® Resources](https://heartmanity.com/resources/heartprints-resources/) - [Personal Growth Resources](https://heartmanity.com/resources/personal-growth-resources/) - [Blog](https://blog.heartmanity.com/) - [Emotional Intelligence & Fitness](https://blog.heartmanity.com/topic/emotional-intelligence-fitness) - [Leadership and Business](https://blog.heartmanity.com/topic/leadership-and-business) - [Love, Marriage, and Relationships](https://blog.heartmanity.com/topic/love-marriage-and-relationships) - [Parents: Permission to Be Imperfect](https://blog.heartmanity.com/topic/parents-permission-to-be-imperfect) - [Brain Fitness, Mindfulness and Perspective](https://blog.heartmanity.com/topic/brain-fitness-mindfulness-and-perspective) - [Communication & Interpersonal Skills](https://blog.heartmanity.com/topic/communication-interpersonal-skills) - [Habits for Health](https://blog.heartmanity.com/topic/habits-for-health) Heartmanity's Blog Search Search - There are no suggestions because the search field is empty. Topics: Select a topic... All Emotional Intelligence & Fitness Leadership and Business Love, Marriage, and Relationships Parents: Permission to Be Imperfect Brain Fitness, Mindfulness and Perspective Communication & Interpersonal Skills Habits for Health Heartmanity Webinars, Classes, and Events Filters # [*Parents, Do You Have an Illusion of Control?*](https://blog.heartmanity.com/parents-do-you-have-an-illusion-of-control) Let's face it; life can tire a person out! When you add up the jobs, romance (or lack of romance), friendship, parenting, being someone’s adult child yourself, self-care, sleeping, eating, exercising, being “tired out” can just grow and grow. For many of us, the more we take on, the more stressed and tired we become. To compensate for the overwhelming feelings of being more and more out of control, we try to do even more. This tactic is a futile attempt to give ourselves and others the illusion that we “have it all together.” However, maybe we should release that illusion of control. ![Loving your children means taking care of yourself](https://blog.heartmanity.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Father-and-son-having-nap-486902340_2125x1416.jpeg?width=2121&name=Father-and-son-having-nap-486902340_2125x1416.jpeg)What if instead, we step back, take a deep breath, and decide what REALLY matters and needs to happen in this moment? What is actually *most* important to us? Don't put more on your to-do list. Put more attention on deciding *what* to put on the to-do list and *how* to do those things in a way that makes us happy. Whatever we do needs to align with our values and enrich our relationships—instead of doing what drains us.   Parenting means we care for ourselves and our children. We only have so much energy, so let’s stop using it to feed the illusion of control. Instead, let’s use our energy to love on ourselves, our families, our passions, our joys, and our learning. All good things! [Parents need self-care to be their best self](https://blog.heartmanity.com/parents-need-self-care-to-be-their-best-self), to be the best mom or dad they can be. Parenting is challenging enough without working against yourself! For more positive parenting tips or parenting articles to relax into your parenting with awareness and ease, check out Heartmanity's [parenting resources](https://heartmanity.com/resources/heartprints-resources/). ### Like the article? Help us spread the word and share it! Facebook Twitter Pinterest LinkedIn **![Britta Hubbard / Heartmanity Contributor](https://blog.heartmanity.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Britta%20Hubbard%20bio%20photo.jpg?width=225&name=Britta%20Hubbard%20bio%20photo.jpg)[Britta Hubbard / Heartmanity Contributor](https://blog.heartmanity.com/author/britta-hubbard)** Britta is a Middle School Family and Consumer Science teacher empowering adolescents in personal development and financial education. Her work was featured in Dr. Harry Wong's First Days of School publications. Britta is also a parent educator. She lives in Colorado with her husband and two sons who are her greatest joy. 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[Sitemap](https://heartmanity.com/sitemap/) | [Privacy Policy](https://info.heartmanity.com/privacy-policy) ```json { "@context" : "https://schema.org", "@type" : "NewsArticle", "author" : [ { "@type" : "Person", "name" : "Britta Hubbard / Heartmanity Contributor", "url" : "https://blog.heartmanity.com/author/britta-hubbard" } ], "dateModified" : "2022-10-28T17:58:25", "datePublished" : "2018-07-19T14:33:00", "headline" : "Parents, Do You Have an Illusion of Control?", "image" : [ "https://info.heartmanity.com/hubfs/Father-and-son-having-nap-486902340_2125x1416.jpeg" ] } ```