Eloping: Not the Escape Weddings of the Past

The year 2020 seems to have changed just about everything we know to be true, including weddings. I was invited to three weddings in 2020, all of which were canceled or postponed due to the pandemic. Each couple decided to cancel or postpone their wedding hoping that next year may have more of a sense of normalcy. These choices seemed like the only options for couples, but is there another way?

 

Recently, I ran into my dear friend, Merissa. She is a local photographer in Bozeman, Montana, who photographed some family photos for my family, and my husband and I’s wedding. As we caught up on how our lives were going, Merissa shared some shifts in the wedding industry and how her business changed with this year's trends. An increasing trend she is seeing is twofold: 1) a new way to define elopements and 2) increased popularity of elopements.

 

Adventure ElopementPhoto credit: Merissa Lambert

 

What Is an Elopement?

The term elopement has changed in recent years, particularly amidst the COVID pandemic. The Merriam-Webster dictionary published an article, The Changing Meaning of ‘Elope.’ They defined “elope” as a marriage conducted without the knowledge of the couple’s family and friends, particularly their parents. Previously, those who eloped often had only a ceremony with several witnesses—no guests, no reception, and no celebration for guests following the ceremony. Historically taboo, today’s elopements are being redefined by couples to mean something completely different.

 

The New Trend of Elopement

The newly defined elopements are sometimes held in destination-type locations or places close to home that are special to a couple. The common theme in elopement that remains consistent today is that the term means “escape.” An escape isn’t just about marrying without the guests, but also escaping the pressures of traditional weddings, the complicated dynamic of blended families, and the increasing cost of weddings.

Destination wedding and elopement

Photo credit: Merissa Lambert

The growing trend of eloping wasn’t born from COVID; however, COVID is certainly magnifying a change in how people are marrying. However, today’s elopements are becoming intimate weddings rather than couples secretly running off to get married. Couples are reaching out to photographers, officiants, and other wedding industry services wanting small intimate weddings with few or even no guests. These weddings are often in remote locations with simple set-ups that create unique experiences. 

 

Related Reading: What Is an Elopement Wedding?

Why Are More Couples Choosing to Elope?

The common theme among today’s elopements: couples are creating a ceremony and journey about them instead of focusing on their guests. By making the event couple-centric, couples “escape” societal norms and the many expectations of a traditional wedding. Couples include traditions and symbols that are important to them in a way that most honors their relationship while setting the tone they wish to set for their marriage. 

 

Related Reading: "How Wedding Anniversary Symbols Support and Strengthen a Marriage."

 

A quick internet search comes up with countless articles to help couples plan their elopement and navigate their decision with loved ones. This year, in particular, couples are choosing more intimate ceremonies over large occasions. These private, intimate ceremonies are packed with meaning and elevated emotions for couples. Prohibitive costs of weddings along with Covid-19 restrictions at locations, such as the limited number of guests and social distancing requirements are eliciting a new generation of wedding ceremonies. Therefore, couples and vendors have opportunities to discover new ways of thinking about weddings.

 

3 Considerations for Planning an Elopement

For those who love the idea of modern-day elopement, this new style may sound like a stress-free decision and process. Although elopements do come with fewer strings attached, some details of the process might still create some challenges so let's look at a few common ones.

 

Possible Obstacles to Overcome

 

1 - Friends and Family May Have Strong Feelings and Opinions

 

Elopements go against the grain of the traditional wedding structure. Friends and family may be hurt that they will be excluded or denied a role in a wedding. And people love celebrations and parties! Family and friends also enjoy honoring people that they love. They may struggle to understand the reasons and decisions chosen by the couple.

 

Related Reading: "Taming The Flood of Contradictions in a Wedding."

 

2 - Unusual Locations May Not Work for All Vendors

 

Although there are fewer people to consider for an elopement, ideas may not work for involved vendors. Merissa loves the adventure and creativity that comes with elopements, but all photographers may not feel the same. 

 

When choosing a remote destination for weddings, guests may not want to hike to the top of a waterfall. People may be uncomfortable to travel in the climate of Covid-19. And crossing a river with even a small cake might be tough. Considering how all the details work together when planning an elopement is important.

Related reading: "Is It Possible to Plan a Microwedding and Keep Everyone Happy?"

Mountaintop elopement

3 - Flexibility Is a Must 

 

The more adaptable the bride and groom, the easier the wedding planning and the flow in any wedding process, which improves the experience. Many elopements are planned around experiences with gorgeous natural backdrops or hard-to-reach places. The advantage of an elopement is flexibility; after all, there are fewer moving pieces. A small ceremony has fewer schedules to work around and the date can be easily moved for ideal weather. Whether the choice is an elopement, micro-wedding, or a minimony (yes, it’s spelled correctly… part of the new trend), all can be beautiful, unique, and meaningful.

 

No matter the type of wedding chosen, what is most important is to honor the couple's love commitment and relationship. A wedding sets the tone for their lives together. It’s not just about the wedding, but the future of a long-lasting and happy marriage. 

 

Let us support you on your journey—from engagements to elopements, wedding ceremonies, to officiant training. Get the skills to ensure your marriage and relationship grow happier and stronger with every day. Heartmanity is here to help you build drama-free marriages. Reach out to us today at support@heartmanity.com.

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Christina Maxwell / Heartmanity ContributorChristina Maxwell / Heartmanity Contributor
Christina brings fresh insights to personal growth, marriage, and step-parenting. First introduced to Heartmanity as a coaching client in 2013, she quickly fell in love with the work. After experiencing significant transformation in all areas of her life, she became deeply committed to the Heartmanity mission. Other passions of Christina's are helping blended families to unify and guiding couples to navigate engagements, intentional wedding planning, and wedding ceremonies. She is an ordained minister.

Posted in Love, Marriage, and Relationships, Intentional Weddings & Wedding Planning

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