One of the greatest impediments to a healthy relationship and happy marriage is personalizing your partner's behavior and the accompanying emotions released in misunderstandings, verbal disagreements, and arguments. When we are offended by our spouse's snarky remarks, our defenses rise and we position ourselves for a comeback.

Granted, it can be difficult to respond with love when angry emotions, verbal darts, or childish behavior are wielded our way. Understandably so. When we commit our love to one another, we expect respect, support, and love. How do we stand our ground for respect while [...]

I swung into the grocery store on my way home the other night to grab a box of My/Mo Mochi ice cream. As I reached the freezer section, I stopped as if frozen myself. My eyes gazed down the long aisle with hundreds of choices of frozen desserts: dozens of flavors and brands in every imaginable size and shape. Wow, how common prolific choices have become in stores and in our lives!

We live in a culture of instant gratification and continual titillation of our senses. Every moment confronts us with zillions of choices for eating, drinking, working, recreating, and traveling. Let's take the [...]

In a loving relationship or marriage, there are certain critical keys that open the door to more love. And it is communication in marriage more than anything else that makes or breaks a relationship. We all have a deep need to feel heard and understood. Though this need is vital, it can often interfere with our ability to truly hear our partner, especially at heated moments.

After several decades of marriage, I have found that keeping my mouth closed and my ears wide open helps immensely to carve the way to rich and robust communication.

Love and marriage. Leverage is probably not something that you think about when you're desiring a healthy and strong marriage. You are more likely to want better communication, deeper intimacy, and "love made visible." There are many ways to build a loving relationship, yet there are certain things that consistently nurture love. It's not in the big strokes, but in the daily little actions. The best marriage advice is to leverage the small things.

Relationships greet us with many challenges, big and small. Love and marriage don't come with a handbook, and sometimes all we know is what we learned growing up. As a relationship coach, I often hear the same complaints repeatedly: "I don't feel heard by my partner." or "I've fallen out of love." or "My partner feels more like a roommate."

So when I passed a truck on the interstate with the license plate EZ2LOVE, my mind tossed this saying around like a fresh salad with big wooden tongs.

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

It’s common to have unrealistic and romantic ideas about love, relationships, and marriage. We grow up with a solid diet of fairytales and love stories. Nobody tells you how much work it is to love someone full-time, 24-7, seven days a week—really love someone.

After the honeymoon wears off, it hits you—sometimes gradually, other times suddenly like a ton of bricks. You’re living day-to-day with the quirks of your partner and juggling all the pressures of life and work. Then, one day, you have this pit in your stomach and dare to wonder if you married the wrong person.

One of the most common and precarious habits that I observe in couples and even long-term marriages is the popular behavior of telling your partner what they want to hear rather than what you need, want, think, and feel. When we go along with our partner rather than engage on a real and authentic level, it builds a marriage with unsteady stilts that can topple at any time.

Pleasing, people pleasers and compliance are prevalent. So why is this habit so pervasive?

Estimated reading time: 4.5 minutes

Did you know that nature creates no waste? Last summer, I had to remind myself of this fact when I came across a magpie greedily devouring a carcass while on a walk.

Think about the magnitude of the concept of "no waste" for a moment. Profound isn't it? Even mind-boggling. It turns out that health for an ecosystem, including our relationship with ourselves,  boils down to a few age-old principles. If we're going to create and keep anything healthy, we have to take care of it!

One thing is top of mind in my life: my relationships. Every year, a ritual I never miss is taking stock of how well I have loved those most important to me the year before. I typically do this practice on my birthday or at the beginning of the new year. One of the most precious people in my life, as you might guess, is my husband of several decades. This year in reflecting on what has supported our happiness and success, there are a few things that stand out, which occurred to me that they may be helpful to others.

Estimated reading time: 10 minutes ... but a lifetime to master!