Do you ever think, “When is it going to be my turn?” Do your needs come last—after the needs of your spouse, your children, work, community service, in-laws, siblings, friends, and pets? My needs always used to come last. As a young adult, I remember rarely having time or energy for myself and what was important to me. It was very disheartening. And it took me years of conscious effort to replace my well-practiced compliance and pleasing with strong boundaries that supported my life and relationships.

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes     Estimated time to master: a lifetime! 😊

Nothing is more exciting and empowering than working on a project or playing on a dynamic team—until it’s not.

Collaboration and teamwork can be unpredictable—even fragile—and an energetic brainstorming can go completely awry by a subtle putdown. A co-worker makes a critical comment about a blog posted on the company newsletter. Someone makes a disparaging remark about another person's work. Most everyone has experienced something like this, right?Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

Often, we hesitate to give feedback, even when it is crucial for the health of a relationship or the success of a team. The fear of hurting feelings, triggering a defensive reaction, or being perceived as overly critical can lead us to hold back.

However, withholding feedback can breed resentment and anger, ultimately causing distance and denying others the opportunity for growth.

Estimated reading time: 3 minutes

One of the biggest misconceptions about creating healthy self-esteem in children is that praise is the priority ingredient in building it. An unintended outcome of praise can actually be to deplete self-esteem. Why? Because too much praise causes children to become dependent on what other people think, instead of focusing on what makes them happy and how they feel about themselves and their actions. Praise promotes pleasing others and relying on others for validation.

So what do you do instead to build self-esteem and help raise confident children?

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

Honesty is a core value I’ve espoused for many years. I didn’t always, though. When I was growing up, I was a chameleon, telling people what they wanted to hear and wanted me to be. It was a game of sorts: fooling people and seeing how smoothly I could transition between my Shakespearean acts. This time of my life came to a screeching halt when, as a young woman, I realized that I was caught in a web of illusion, half-truths, and confusion. Here's what I did.

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

At a gathering of about thirty women, the subject of trustworthiness came up. Many of the women who were present did not feel comfortable sharing within their communities about the struggles they’d had in their lives and relationships. What a shame, when openness and sharing allow us to give and receive support!

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes

As I sit waiting for my flight at the Denver airport, I am struck by the busy but disjointed scene around me. The gentleman next to me has been surfing the web nonstop for an hour. All but one person out of about twenty at United Airlines Gate B82 are hooked into computers, cell phones, iPads, or a Kindle (including me as I write this blog). No smiles, no conversation.

Estimated reading: 3 minutes

Do you find yourself saying "yes" when you really want to say "no"? Do you end up doing more than your share at home or at work? Do your needs come last—after your husband or wife, your children, work, community service, in-laws, siblings, and friends? If you answered yes to even one of these questions, you need to strengthen your boundaries.

Empathy. Tolerance. Understanding. All these key ingredients are essential in thriving families and communities. 

It was unfamiliar terrain. I walked in the early morning sun of Tucson, Arizona. One figure captivated my attention: a magnificent cactus that was 150 years old. This Giant Saguaro Cactus was home to many birds and a multitude of insects; it was a bustling beehive of purposeful activity. Single-handedly, it supported a whole community, providing shade, food, and shelter. This environment created by a cactus organically is something that we, as humans, struggle with, regardless of [...]

Everyone has core values, but how well we live by them will determine how happy we are. Values guide us to wise action, yet stress or life's curveballs can get in the way. How do we learn to align more fully to be the best version of ourselves? And how do we support each other when we fall short?

Estimated reading time: 3 minutes