In today's hectic world, if we aren’t mindful, it doesn't take long for two people in a loving relationship to unknowingly let outer pressures override quality time together. It’s easy to get caught up in daily demands so much that we can even begin to feel that our partner is the problem, or at least they’re a hassle. And just as easy, is to "fall out of love."
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Just like driving on a hot day in the comfort of an air-conditioned car, we may not be aware that we’re headed toward a breakdown. With no water in the radiator (no love in our tanks), it’s not until the engine light goes on and smoke is billowing out from underneath the hood that we realize we’ve neglected fundamental care.
Keep the Love Alive in Your Relationship
As we continually react to circumstances in our lives, we start living unconsciously. We begin to forget to take time for everyday loving gestures or we put off carving time to listen to one another. We can get lazy and disregard the small actions that have a big impact. Prevent a breakdown by mindfully nurturing your relationship today—and every day!
By taking small and loving actions regularly, you'll be strengthening your relationship dramatically. Below are some proven keys to help you create ease and connection that help to build a thriving relationship!
Related Reading: "Keys to Healthy Love and a Happy Relationship."
3 Keys to Promote More Love in Your Relationship
KEY #1: Greet your partner like you’re happy to see them!
When we are preoccupied with life, we can forget how important greetings are to everyone. Think for a moment of someone who happily greets you (even if it’s your Golden Retriever) and you’ll realize just how validating greetings can be!
So the next time your partner comes home, stop what you're doing and greet them with genuine joy and a big hug and kiss—like you haven't seen them for a month!
KEY #2: Ask for what you want from your partner.
When communicating with your partner, ask for what you want instead of pointing your finger at them. Many people tend to complain rather than just ask for what they need. For example, “I feel sad when we don't spend time together. Let’s reserve Friday for a special night out."—instead of “You never spend time with me!"
KEY #3: Focus on what you can do for the relationship to be successful.
Often we have our attention on what’s wrong or what our partner did to hurt us in the past instead of what can move us forward in a positive way. However, when it comes to love, persistently revisiting what’s wrong or what hurt us can get downright discouraging. Train yourself to focus on what you love about your partner. (If and when you want something different, see Key #2.)
Closing Thoughts
Just like changing the oil in your car or making sure the radiator has proper coolant, small and loving actions can greatly impact the quality of your relationship.
By focusing on making your connection and love strong, you’re investing in what truly matters. Keep your focus on what you have control to change—yourself!
Watch the magic of going from surviving to thriving in your relationship!
Frequently Asked Questions
What Can You Say to Your Partner to Help Save a Relationship
One of the most important things to say to your partner when a relationship is struggling is, "I want to learn how to love you better." This growth mindset will help them know that even though things are rough, you are committed to doing what it takes to make the relationship better.
Many times couples are stuck in trying to be right rather than seeking to love better. Even if you win an argument and prove your partner wrong, it will create more strife in the future. Being right may feel victorious for a hot minute, but the win will create more distance and disconnection in your relationship. Say instead, "You might be right about that!" Then, seek to understand their perspective.
The goal is to take responsibility for loving your partner in ways they need. Yet, loving requires we first love and care for ourselves. And it's not what we SAY but our ACTIONS that speak the loudest!
For more relationship support, marriage advice, and how to improve communication skills, email jennifer@heartmanity.com.
