Maintaining a healthy marriage requires continual investment. And most couples experience challenges they must face in marriage and love. But when done intentionally, navigating them together can also be among the most rewarding. It’s completely natural for couples to experience ups and downs, yet it takes daily loving acts to keep our relationship thriving. And when it gets to the point of make-or-break, something needs to change.
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Changing the dynamic of your marriage when struggling requires serious effort from both sides. It takes patience, commitment, and a real desire for change. But with an earnest attitude, rekindling a spark in your marriage is certainly achievable. You simply need to take steps towards a more loving and intentional relationship and remember to love yourself at the same time.
Here are some simple yet powerful ways to breathe new love into your relationship.
3 Powerful Actions Couples Can Take to Increase Love in Their Relationship
1 Fall in Love with Yourself
There are many reasons a marriage can start to wither or fall apart. It could be distance, lifestyle disagreements, or just straight-up stress. But one of the most common reasons people fall out of love is because they fall out of love with themselves first—or never learned to love themselves.
When you become complacent, growth feels scary, even when you know it’s what will bring about healthy change. And it might sound counter-intuitive, but redirecting some much-needed focus and attention onto yourself can be just as rejuvenating for your relationship as all the dinner dates and expressions of gratitude in the world.
Take time to consider what you need to regain confidence, self-acceptance, and self-esteem. Maybe you need to rediscover a part of yourself, become more sexually in touch with your needs, or reconnect with feelings you’d long ago forgotten.
While you’re doing this, encourage your partner to do the same. Chances are, it’s exactly what you both need to feel just as desirable, interesting, and confident as the day you met.
Related reading: “If You Want a Successful Marriage, Increase Self-Mastery.”
2 Take a Walk Down Memory Lane
Amongst all the drama and chaos of everyday life, it can be easy to forget where your shared love first began. The butterflies, the tantalizing uncertainty, the preening, and the playfulness. The sheer pleasure of love's intoxication.
Reflecting on your favorite memories and experiences together can be an extremely healing process for partners who feel like they’ve lost their spark. Before attempting to make any big changes to the future of your relationship, take a tender moment (or several) to pause and reflect on its positive milestones.
Memories like the first time you met, made love or said “I love you” can bring back a rush of fluttery feelings and tender realizations about what drew you together initially, and perhaps what still does. Shift your focus to what you love about your partner, what you fell in love with!
2 Infuse Adrenaline into Your Life
If your relationship lacks excitement, perhaps life is too mundane; remedy it with some good old-fashioned adrenaline. Sometimes, it is actually that simple.
Psychology Today highlights the fact that going through an adrenaline-rush experience with another person can create a bonding effect between you. Activities that get your heart racing can stimulate the production of endorphins, serotonin, and oxytocin—the love hormone.
Fortunately, that doesn’t mean you need to go skydiving to save your relationship unless you’re both into that, of course!
Any adrenaline-inducing activity may have a similar effect. Things like exercise, travel, or simply trying something new are all effective ways to rekindle intimacy, excitement, and magic.
3 Practice Gratitude
Simply put, everyone wants to feel appreciated. And in the throes of a years-deep marriage, people can forget how true this is. But gratitude and affirmation aren’t things that can be expressed once and forever remembered. They require consistent nurturing to have the best effect.
Many relationships wither due to a chronic lack of appreciation and gratitude. Don’t let that be the case for yours. When your partner does something you appreciate, tell them. Share with them when they look sexy, when you’re proud of them, and when you love the way they kiss you hello.
Don’t wait for your partner to have a bad day to give them a kind word. Celebrate the small joys every day, anytime. A little bit of gratitude goes a long, long way.
Working Together to Stay Together
Keeping your marriage feeling fresh and exciting is no easy task. With time comes stress, change, aging, and a myriad of other complicating real-world factors. However, reviving a troubled relationship is possible, especially when you both desire improvement.
When two people are willing to make it work, the process of creating a newer, happier, and more romantic dynamic becomes much easier. With these simple, intentional actions, you and your partner can start rerouting the direction of your relationship and make space for new life to grow within it.
Just remember, to love your partner, you need to love yourself first!
For couples coaching or to get expert support in your marriage, reach out to heartmanity at Support@heartmanity.com.
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