Heartmanity Blog

Redirecting Children's Behavior to Prevent Misbehavior

Written by Jennifer A. Williams / Parent Coach | Sep 5, 2016 7:30:00 PM

As a parent, do you ever wonder if you're failing your child? Or do you feel discouraged in your parenting role? Are your kids driving you crazy? Have you found yourself doing exactly what you said you'd NEVER do—like yelling at your kids, just like your mom did? Then, you might ask, "Am I a bad mom?"

Parenting is not for the weary at heart as the saying goes. Being a parent requires patience, fortitude, skill, and a love that keeps on giving! It's a fabulous opportunity to grow up, too!

Estimated reading time: 3 minutes

My Parenting Journey

My children have been some of my best and biggest teachers. It's an incredible and rewarding journey. Yet, one thing is for sure, without knowing how to redirect my children's "misbehavior," the journey would have been so much more stressful!

When my children were young, my parenting toolbelt was empty. I struggled to keep up with three young children so I searched for the skills and knowledge to be the parent I knew my children deserved. Then I discovered Redirecting Children's Behavior principles that revolutionized my life.

Finally, practical tools that helped me connect with my children and gave me positive parenting skills that not only allowed me to persevere but also made parenting fun! And it backed what I believed: unconditional love was the foundation of secure attachment, but not enough when you grew up in trauma.

"Fun" parenting might have been too big of a stretch for me back then since I was only looking to survive at times because I was so overwhelmed as a parent.

But, be honest, wouldn't you like to feel confident in your parenting?

Skills give confidence.

I felt so passionate about the philosophy and the information resonated with me so completely that I became a Redirecting Children's Behavior Instructor and then 9 months later, an Instructor Trainer and later a Director for the International Network for Children and Families. The experience of working with hundreds of parents over the years has taught me so much compassion. Parenting can be challenging even when it's going well!

The Rewards from Learning Conscious Parenting Skills

Fast forward 20 years. After teaching the Redirecting Children's Behavior (RCB) class for two decades, I now can see the amazing skills and high self-esteem reflected in my now adult children and the children of the parents who have attended my classes or coaching. What is most gratifying is how the RCB principles instilled emotional intelligence in my children and gave me the foundation to not only be a loving mother but also grow up inside and learn self-love through guiding others.

Deep dive: "37 Inspiring Ways for Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child." 

Once while traveling to conduct an Emotional Intelligence (EQ) training at a Montessori school in Iowa, I stayed at a hotel and was relaxing in a hot tub talking with a woman in her mid-60s. She asked where I was headed and why. When I told her all about my training and the Redirecting Children's Behavior, she started to cry. When she recovered her composure, this woman whom I had just met, lamented and said that she wished that she had had these skills when her children were growing up. She was estranged from several of her grown children at the time.

Parenting grown children was a whole different league and she felt helpless to restore the relationships.

We talked considerably more and I encouraged her to contact them. It's never too late to make a repair in a relationship. I'll never forget her face lit up as her heart filled with hope. She decided to contact each one of her children and begin anew.

Love heals.

And we all need support.

Parenting Skills Allow Us to Be Our Best Self, the Best Parent

What I found by training in this philosophy and teaching it now for so many years, is that with skills we have no need to yell, spank, or shame.

Granted, we're human, so we'll make parenting mistakes and blow it but the recovery time is shorter, the repairs more meaningful, and the relationship with our children becomes so strong and healthy that it can weather our missteps.

Now I teach my clients how to reparent themselves along with working as a parent coach. The more parenting skills we have, the more we can raise happy, free-thinking, and responsible children—and eliminate power struggles.

My hope, my mission, is for every parent to have the skills, tools, and support they need so every child can be raised in a home with unconditional love. Then we'll transform the world by raising emotionally intelligent adults and the warring within our families and communities will dissolve. Love heals all.

If you're interested in working with me as a parent coach or would like to attend a parenting class, check out our parenting resources. You’ll learn tried-and-true skills that easily redirect and prevent misbehavior while building a strong and loving connection with your child and teen. You’ll wonder how you ever parented without these keys!

"Redirecting Children's Behavior" course is based on sound psychology and is strongly influenced by the work of Rudolf Dreikurs, MD, author of the highly acclaimed book, Children: The Challenge.

We invite you to contact us any time for support at support@heartmanity.com. We love to hear from parents and grandparents.

Testimonials from students of my Redirecting Children Behavior classes:

Great course. Great teacher. You are so lively and fun to be with without coming across like you know it all, but you definitely practice what you preach. ~Bernadette H.

Redirecting Children’s Behavior has empowered me with the tools to change my parenting in positive ways...already, more feelings are being shared and problem-solving and win-win negotiations are replacing conflict and struggles. ~Mary S.

The class has helped me to be more aware and conscious about my children and their behavior. Parenting can feel like walking through fog, not knowing why things turn out the way they do, and not knowing how to influence things. Your class is a great tool to lift the fog so we, as parents, can see the treasures (children) and help polish them versus scratching and breaking them. ~Elizabeth

"Redirecting Children's Behavior" course is based on sound psychology and is strongly influenced by the work of Rudolf Dreikurs, MD, author of the highly acclaimed book, Children: The Challenge. It works. Find out more.

Some more parenting blogs to get started:

Am I a Bad Mom?

Parenting Tips for Saying No and Setting Boundaries

Teen Rebellion Is a Cry for Love

Visionary Parenting Is the Key to Capable and Happy Children

Positive Parenting: 3 Parenting Strategies for Greater Patience