If you asked a hundred persons about their goals in life, at least half of them would mention their desire to be in a healthy relationship. And right at the front of this relationship train exists a loving, trustworthy spouse.
So, how do you create a healthy relationship? Read on to find out.
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes
By borrowing a leaf from people’s lives who have lived with their partners in healthy relationships for decades, here are a few pointers that will help you achieve the same.
Being vulnerable means letting someone else in, which requires breaking down defensive walls. Wherever you seek any healthy relationship, dating adventure, or marriage advice, this point will never miss the mark.
Once you allow yourself to open up and let someone get to know you from the inside out, you will have uncovered one big secret to a happy relationship. (Easier said than done, right?!) Nonetheless, vital.
Once you and your partner’s vulnerability is nurtured, another tip for healthy relationships is to be open to going the extra mile and finding a resolution that can require compromise in a few situations.
You each are unique.
And your partner or spouse has had a completely different upbringing, so, you may not always be on the same page. Differences may arise from such simple issues as what food to eat and much more sensitive matters such as finances and religion.
When a disagreement happens, you must be willing to sit down and calmly talk about everything, laying all your cards on the table. Through talking and listening to each other, you will understand where the other person is coming from. Ideally, you can reach a middle ground and agree on what to do. Other times, you can achieve a win-win resolution.
Sometimes, things won’t appear to go your way, but you make the decision freely and out of love.
Related reading: "Keys to Healthy Love and a Happy Relationship"
All healthy relationship skills circle good communication.
And remember how we mentioned vulnerability earlier?
You cannot become vulnerable without openly communicating with each other; you cannot reach a middle ground without excellent communication; thus, communication is key.
Now, here is the exciting part.
Most people think that communication is what you ‘say’ to your partner, but words are only one way. Excellent communication in a relationship goes beyond words. Actions also play a significant role. Have you ever heard of the languages of love?
Did you think it was an accident that they chose to use the word ‘languages’?
As a quick reminder, there are five love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, gift-giving, physical touch, and quality time.
Once you are in a relationship, the ‘me’ switches to ‘we,’ which means that you two might be spending a lot of time together.
That said, involve each other in your shared hobbies and develop new ones you both enjoy. People in healthy relationships love spending time together. One example might be mountain biking or watching movies together, try it!
Even though you may be dating or you're now part of a duo, you must never lose your individualism. That means that you should still keep your friends, continue the hobbies you love, and enjoy your own company. Your partner just came in to compliment you, not complete you. Find the difference.
People in healthy relationships share joyous as well as painful experiences. And amidst all that, laughter should never cease. Silly things that happen can invoke a hearty laugh between lovers.
Remember the time her heel broke, and she fell into your arms for a romantic moment?
Recall that time when he put words to rhyme or sang a request. These funny moments can be a fabulous opportunity for fun reminiscing while you share a meal or drink.
Having fun with your partner daily, be it in the house, the park, or in the car on a drive home, is a great way to increase fun and connection.
Fun must not be an afterthought; apply it regularly. For example, couples often rotate the changing of their baby’s diapers (or guilt each other into the chore). Instead, jazz it up: have a game of rock-paper-scissors, and the loser gets the honor.
Healthy relationships are not always a bed of roses, as you have probably heard before. Even when life is happy, roses have thorns, too!
Most couples have disagreements and reach impasses, but healthy relationships resolve conflicts.
Great communication requires solving issues as they arise. Couples resolving disputes together create greater closeness and understanding.
However, sometimes, a neutral party is helpful for personal growth individually and as a couple. An objective party can support new ways of looking at behaviors and attitudes within a relationship.
All in all, maturity runs the show.
Having an understanding and loving partner is just one part of the love puzzle. The other ingredients of successful relationships are earned. The ones mentioned above are only the tip of the iceberg. Regardless, creating a healthy and loving relationship at whatever stage you are in your life IS possible.
Yes, you read that right! Healthy relationships after divorce are very much a possibility. You have to play your part, and then your desires can manifest. If you’re still searching, wishing you the best. If you’ve already discovered love, cherish it. Be kind to your partner, and always seek to be your best self.
We’d love to hear from you. What have you found that helps you as a person and couple to be happier and healthier? Please leave your questions or suggestions.
Related reading: "Love Is a Choice - the Best Marriage Advice."
For customized couples mentoring that is guaranteed to enhance your relationship, contact us at support@heartmanity.com.