Children's behavior can be frustrating and challenging for parents. However, with a few parenting skills and a little insight, you can learn to redirect your child's behavior lovingly and firmly. I did just that.
When my son was a toddler, I can vividly recall taking him to an open gym event in my town. These events were set up by a local parenting support group to give parents an opportunity to get out of the house, with children in tow. The kids could play, run around, socialize in a new space, which was a lifesaver for me during the cold Montana months.
On one particular day, I was standing at one end of the gym as my child scooted around on a little pushbike at the other end. I was chatting with a mom when I saw my child reach down and grab a toy from another child. At that moment, the theme song to Chariots of Fire sprang into my head as I ran to my child to attempt to remedy the situation.
A stark realization hit me: I had no tools in my parenting toolbox. How exactly did I intend to remedy the situation?
Related reading: "Am I a Bad Mom? Transform Parenting Burn-Out to Fun, Positive Parenting."
From that moment on, I sought out parenting skills—ways for me to be a better, more effective parent to my full-of-life toddler. Not long after, my husband and I attended our first parenting class on Redirecting Children's Behavior with Jennifer Williams, and have been hooked ever since with the concepts and parenting skills taught in her class.
In just one class, I learned how much my own childhood prevented me from responding effectively to my child’s behavior. But I also gained objectivity and understanding. It became clear that just because I went through something as a kid, didn’t mean he would too or that I had to parent the same as my parents.
Related reading: "Redirecting Children's Behavior to Prevent Misbehavior."
Most importantly, I learned not to judge or label my child or any other child. What struck me so profoundly was learning how to view children's behaviors at face value—as communication. They were communicating unmet needs that I could anticipate and prevent misbehavior. What a concept!
Those realizations alone were huge leaps of faith for me, and have made an indelible impact on my life as a mom, and as a person in general.
My son is now much older and thriving. Sure, we have our moments and we still have a lot to learn, but I am no longer a stressed-out mom running across the gym to Chariots of Fire as I was when he was young. I have learned crucial skills for redirecting my child.
The knowledge I gained in the Redirecting Children's Behavior course helped me understand my child’s needs and wants better and redirect his behavior successfully, and lovingly.
Related reading: "Positive Parenting: 3 Parenting Strategies for Greater Patience."
And I've also learned to take care of myself as a parent so I can be truly present in the moment. My parenting has moved from reactive parenting to conscious parenting. I am even taking a meditation class to improve my “in the moment” skills.
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