Are you fighting aches and pains? Or feeling like your body “just isn’t right”? It could be more than a physical malaise. Maybe emotional conflicts are trying to get you to sit up and pay attention. It might just be time for an emotional reset!
When your back is aching and your shoulders are bound up in knots, there’s nothing like getting a good massage, right? It's easy to recognize when our body needs a break. When we're hungry, we eat; when we're tired, we rest and when our head is throbbing, we reach for relief. But how well do you care for your emotions and emotional well-being?
Estimated reading: 4 minutes
Just like in the movie, Silver Linings Playbook, everyone needs to work through challenges and find their balance. Inner peace doesn't come without practice, without exercising the muscles of mindfulness.
It's vital to decipher what's most important to you and act on it with courage; to take intense energy, scattered or disruptive emotions and funnel them into a purpose. You may not be in a dance competition but much of success in life and relationship is just showing up!
Emotional intelligence is a path that takes courage and patience. And one way to begin is to pay attention to the language of your body. Trust me, when your neck is sore, chances are your emotions are sore, too. Maybe your gut sometimes feels like someone punched you. Or there’s so much confusion swarming around in your head that you can’t think. Or you ache to have some semblance of peace—but you just keep on pushing yourself relentlessly.
If you're asking yourself, "Why am I so emotional lately?" it's time for some emotional R&R!
As a society, we haven't learned how to honor our emotions or listen to their wisdom. I often hear from women that they’re afraid to stop and feel because they’ll face a flood of strong emotions that they’ve been holding back. And if they feel fully, their emotions might take them off track or derail their productivity. And many men push down or push through emotions.
Well, it doesn’t make much sense to push when our body is exhausted. It also doesn’t make sense to repress what makes us human: our feelings.
What you need is a Silver Linings Playbook: seeing the silver lining inside you waiting for the sun to shine light on your emotions and reveal what they are trying to tell you.
It doesn’t take long—only a few minutes, or even a few seconds—but the positive effects are lasting and the rewards plentiful. The more we feel and express emotions in healthy ways, the more attentive we are to our feelings and their messages, and the happier we become. It doesn’t even take time as much as turning our focus to our heart instead of outward to the world.
So the next time you’re feeling overwhelmed or frustrated or just plain worn out, take a moment and go within. If you're feeling conflicting emotions, take a breath and listen to what your feelings are trying to tell you. Sit down and feel. Just like we work out at a gym, you don't grow the muscles of emotional fitness without practice.
Emotional balance is gained by paying attention to when you're off-balance, then taking action to return to peace.
Related reading: "How to Find Inner Peace by Resolving Conflicted Feelings"
Wherever you feel stress in your body, intentionally relax. With each exhale breath, feel your body loosening and releasing tension.
Lean into the emotion and experience it fully. Are you feeling sad or happy? Resentful or grateful? Lonely? Excited? Frustrated? Peaceful? Name it! By naming an emotion, it helps to process and dissipate the intensity.
It’s helpful to continue breathing while you find self-acceptance. Breathe in acceptance, breathe out judgment. Breathe in peace, breathe out stress.
It’s okay if you’re not ready to let go of your present emotions. You might want to be angry or need to feel your sadness fully before you’re ready to move on. Remember that whatever you feel is okay! And when you are ready, ask yourself how you want to feel. Then go to Step 5.
If you feel lonely, the action might be to visit a friend and engage in some meaningful dialogue or to stay home and nurture yourself. If you feel resentful, the action might be to have a conversation with the person you’re feeling resentment toward and ask for what you need to be different. Or if you feel used by someone, setting a healthy boundary might be what you need.
As you take time to feel your emotions more fully and express them in healthy ways, you’ll be replenished.
As you learn to act on their wisdom, you’ll feel consistently empowered. Build the habit of emotional acceptance and resiliency. You’ll feel like you just left the spa—and it will cost you nothing!
If you're serious about emotional intelligence and learning how to use your emotions as a compass to guide you, try our EQ online course.
If you want personalized support finding your emotional center, contact us today at support@heartmanity.com. Transforming lives IS our business!