You can almost feel it in the air—just a little extra tension to go along with the holiday spirit. Or maybe more than a little. It’s tempting to focus on just getting things done, but if you do that, a couple of weeks from now you may notice your relationship with your spouse becoming a bit frazzled.
Even under the best of circumstances, living your love actively for your spouse every day can be challenging. There’s so much competing for your attention: work, family, chores, errands, and shopping . . . on and on the list goes! It can be hard to hang on to that special love that brought you together and even kept you up late at night talking and laughing together.
How about starting your gift-giving a little early this year? Give your spouse a gift every day to help stress-proof your marriage and make every holiday a little more joyous—and meaningful!
Here’s the idea: Choose one of these five actions and give your partner one “gift” a day. Whether you choose a surprise gesture of love, sharing your heart by communicating your needs, cutting them some slack, giving an extra-long hug, or scheduling a little fun, you will be developing new strengths in your relationship and creating habits that can last well beyond the season.
Pick an action and begin today!
GIFT #1 - Surprise your partner with random, out-of-the-ordinary gestures of love.
Look for little opportunities to shower your partner with loving-kindness at least once a day, and keep your relationship-focused in the right place. This practice uplifts both your partner and you as the doer.
GIFT #2 - Ask for what you need and want.
Like it or not, we each live in a private universe. Don’t hide your heart—share it by explaining what you need and asking for what you want (not the kind of thing for them to wrap and put under the tree).
For instance, you want more meaningful conversation but your spouse is working too much. Let them know that you miss them and find time to spend together. Play nice. No guilt trips!
GIFT #3 - Presume innocence.
DON’T jump to conclusions or blame your spouse when things go wrong between you. DO train yourself to be curious about your spouse’s feelings and behavior in a gracious way. You’ll be surprised at how quickly your partner will reciprocate by giving you the benefit of the doubt when you screw up.
GIFT #4 - Be affectionate, even when life is hectic.
As human beings, we are wired for touch. Loving touch bonds us together and helps us stay connected. Touch is a sure-fire way to show your partner love. The key is to reach out and touch lovingly every day, even when you don’t feel like it. (And not just when you want to have sex!)
GIFT #5 - Ask yourself, “Are we having fun?” throughout the week.
If not, do something to shake things up. One of the greatest gifts to a marriage or partnership is lightheartedness and a sense of humor. It’s an attitude that multiplies joy many times over.
This December, make your relationship success a priority! The more gifts of this kind that you give your spouse this month, the more your relationship will thrive.
Enjoy!
For premarital counseling, marriage coaching, or couple's mentoring, contact us today at Heartmanity, support@heartmanity.com.
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