I have a fear, and I don’t believe there is a medical term for it yet, although I’m sure it also exists among other childrearing folks. It’s the fear of placing my kids in public situations, such as restaurants, weddings, airplanes, and holiday parties, even if they say they are the “kid-friendly” kind.
Ever since my first child could walk, he’d end up crawling through the legs of other diners or to the off-limits kitchen of a restaurant before I was even shown to my table. By the time I had two kids walking, both boys, it was double the trouble. At one “kid-friendly” restaurant, a woman told me that my boys ruined her dinner by being so out of control. I felt terrible. I explained that since I live with all boys, I might have subconsciously blocked out some of my auditory senses in a Darwin/survival kind of way. She didn’t think that was as funny as I did.
Following that, I had an airplane experience that made me avoid flying again for a couple of years and a number of other party mishaps where my kids got a little too raucous (like jumping on nice couches). I was rapidly developing a fear of bringing my kids into adult-centric situations where I was potentially setting them, and myself, up for failure, while potentially ruining someone else’s good time.
Along our journey as parents, my husband and I took Jennifer William’s “Redirecting Children’s Behavior Class,” and the techniques learned there have helped us develop a plan for preventing “misbehavior” or redirecting their behavior in public. These include:
Related reading: "Positive Parenting: 3 Strategies for Greater Patience."
I’m not hitting the fine dining scene with my kids in tow anytime soon, but I have found that my phobia is easing up. Together as a family we are navigating our way into public situations, and it’s actually becoming…fun.
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