Heartmanity's Blog

Each year around the holiday season, social media posts are filled with pictures of rings, proposal videos, and changed relationship status. We are presently in the middle of the most popular proposal time of year with nearly forty percent of all engagements occurring occurring between Thanksgiving and Valentine’s Day. This time period is often called the proposal season. As the time frame coincides with traditional holidays that are family gatherings, it seems a natural time for couples' proposals because they want to share their love commitment with those they love.

When my husband and I got together, children were brought into my life for the first time. Once married, the adjustment to living and interacting with two children was a steep learning curve for me. Navigating daily life together, communicating between households, and adapting to different routines all required constant adjustment, and still does nearly four years later. It was evident very quickly that boundaries were necessary for our blended family dynamic. Healthy boundaries shaped the development of my marriage, my interactions with the children, and our relationship with the [...]

The year 2020 seems to have changed just about everything we know to be true, including weddings. I was invited to three weddings in 2020, all of which were canceled or postponed due to the pandemic. Each couple decided to cancel or postpone their wedding hoping that next year may have more of a sense of normalcy. These choices seemed like the only options for couples, but is there another way?

 

Recently, I ran into my dear friend, Merissa. She is a local photographerin Bozeman, Montana, who photographed some family photos for my family, and my husband and I’s wedding. As we caught up on [...]

William Shakespeare said, “Expectation is the root of all heartache.” When Shakespeare coined this phrase over four centuries ago, blended families and step-parenting went mainly unnoticed by social scientists. However, the quote is relevant in isolating a profound problem created by today’s blended families’ complex and unpredictable dynamics. The nature of these relationships creates common problems and challenges that often cannot be anticipated. Yet, as families are combined, individuals may not realize the obscure expectations that often exist within them: expectations around roles, [...]

On day one of a new job, one thing remained in my assigned cubical from the prior resident. A whiteboard with a single quote read in red letters: “Because that’s the way we’ve always done it.” I asked a co-worker what the phrase meant, and he quickly said, “Oh, you’ll see!”

Wow, was he right. The phrase summed up the blanket leadership approach that I experienced for my tenure with that company.

When employees shared ideas or presented possible solutions, instead of listening, we heard “because that’s the way we’ve always done it.” Managers were unwilling to challenge policies or processes [...]

We have all had others come to us for support. Friends, family, and even colleagues trust each other by the nature of their relationships. Whether the relationship is personal or professional, a part of relationships is developing bonds through a connection that develops trust, closeness, and camaraderie. We lean on people to be there for us for life’s challenges and celebrate our joys and triumphs. What helps to create bonds in relationships is our ability to relate to and genuinely support others in a way that resonates with what they are experiencing.

I once saw a bumper sticker that said, “We are all connected.” Such a simple phrase, yet with so much more depth than just those four words. This year more than ever, “we are all connected” is a reminder that in a time of great unrest and disruption, our actions and words have far-reaching and lasting effects on those around us. Our world is more culturally diverse than ever, which calls for greater responsibility to tolerate others. Therefore, empathy, acceptance of diversity, and the ability to treat others with respect and dignity are crucial. All skills that can be learned.

Diversity [...]

Self-care has many definitions. Just as people are unique and have different preferences and desires, defining self-care for ourselves is also unique. Self-nurturance is about being aware of our own needs, paying attention to and actively choosing to nurture our needs consistently. It's vital to respond to our ever-changing lives, moment-by-moment, by caring for ourselves. Being our best in all aspects of mind, body, and spirit is crucial to our health and well-being.

Time is a precious resource—one that we can't make more of or get back what we’ve used or lost. Moms know how priceless time is and feel time crunches all too often. Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom, career woman or a mompreneur, or you work part-time, the role of a mom is broad and diverse. Moms are caretakers for their children, household managers, and keepers of family schedules and routines. They are the Chief Operating Officers of a 24/7 operation. Some moms are additionally juggling careers, volunteering, and overseeing distance learning amidst COVID-19.

Routines and demands on our [...]

Anniversaries are opportunities to reflect on where you have come from, understand where you are, and get clear on where you are going. They are also a wonderful time to adjust the compass and chart a new course together or just revel in your journey thus far.

As my husband and I are approaching our second wedding anniversary, I have spent some time reflecting on our first two years. We have grown and strengthened our bond and communication as well as conquered new challenges together. In my reflection, I wondered, "How can I celebrate this milestone in a way that truly honors myself, my [...]