Why Being a People Pleaser Damages Relationships—and What to Do About It

May 03, 2018

Are you a people pleaser? I was! In fact, growing up, I majored in pleasing others. I honestly believed as a child and young adult that if people didn’t need me, they wouldn’t want me. So I worked at being indispensable. My pleaser habit was so deeply rooted that I didn’t know I was giving up myself on a regular basis, in every relationship at home and work. My pattern of over-giving had great benefits—or so I thought.

Posted in Emotional Intelligence & Fitness, Most Popular

Why Self-Care Matters for Both Employers and Employees

May 01, 2018
Today, as I was reading a professional company manual, I came across this instruction: “Take time to care to your own self needs. Adequate rest, hydration, nutrition and sleep are vital to your success, as well of that as your clients and your organization. If you have a need that is not being met, excuse yourself to tend to it or talk to your supervisor.” 

This was not advice. This was instruction. “Take care” was right there on page 5, just after the table of contents and mission statement.

Now...this was a manual for practitioners of Thai Yoga Massage. After years in the corporate world [...]

Posted in Leadership and Business

Falling Out of Love

April 26, 2018

In our very active and full lives, it is so easy to get caught up in the daily demands of our life and sacrifice love. Many struggling couples ask me, "Can you fall out of love?"

The truth is, love requires nurturing. No matter how deeply you love someone, if you allow weeds to grow in your relationship, they can crowd out love and choke the life right out of your marriage. It doesn't take long for two people in a loving relationship to become distant or "fall out of love." Because of the day-in, day-out details we are continually juggling in our lives, we can slip into autopilot in ways [...]

Posted in Love, Marriage, and Relationships

The Three Kinds of Empathy: Emotional, Cognitive, Compassionate

April 19, 2018

When a student tells you they’re overwhelmed or your partner comes home with bad news from work—do you respond with empathy?

This is a topic we’re impassioned about at Heartmanity, especially because empathy is so integral to emotional intelligence (EQ) and connecting with the people you love and work with.

So, how would you respond if your partner came home overwhelmed with fear, sadness and anger and told you she’d just lost her job? The ideal would be to respond thoughtfully and empathetically.

The thing is, not all empathy looks and feels the same. Just like not all sadness is the [...]

Posted in Emotional Intelligence & Fitness

How to Stop Yelling and Prevent Misbehavior

April 18, 2018

You’re at the grocery store and your five-year-old asks for a candy bar. It’s dinnertime and you want him to eat real food at home, so you say no. Instantly your child starts whining, which quickly escalates into a full-blown tantrum. What do you do?

It’s morning and you have an early and very important meeting at the office. You need to get to work, but first you need to drop the kids off at school. Your elementary-age daughter refuses to get ready for school. She says she hates school and she won’t go. How do you deal with that?

Your teenage son gets mouthy when you tell him he can’t go [...]

Posted in Parents: Permission to Be Imperfect

Why Exercising as a Family Makes Good Sense

April 14, 2018

Life before kids is such sweet sorrow; I used to take care of myself and exercise, up with the dawn for a refreshing run along the seashore. When my boy was born, I was up with the dawn running back and forth changing diapers. So ended the days of the refreshing oceanside runs.

Then a few months later when he was six months old, I had an epiphany: he wakes up early, I wake up early, why not sit him in the stroller and restart my sorely missed morning exercise routine? The fresh sea breeze was healthy for the both of us, and ever since I've found that we were both in a better mood after our [...]

Posted in Parents: Permission to Be Imperfect

Eliminate Clutter and Tackle that Spring Clean-Up for Good

April 12, 2018

A clean house or office, free from clutter and perfectly organized—isn’t that the dream?

There are thousands of resources out there with techniques for organizing, tips for decluttering, or a process for cleaning your closet. The list runs the gamut from “150+ Things to Throw Away Today” to “30 Ways to Instantly Declutter” and “The 4-Pile Strategy for Simplifying Your Closet.”

I have another idea: clutter is a mindset.

Posted in Emotional Intelligence & Fitness, Habits for Health

Teenage Rebellion and the Teen Parent Connection

April 10, 2018
With no hesitation, I can proudly say that my mother is my best friend in this world. And I remember detesting her. If you put a snapshot of my teenage years next to life today, they would probably look like two different people.

While adolescents are not a different breed, they might at times seem like it. This portrayal has only been heightened by media and movie portrayals. Teens get stereotyped as hormonal, socially lost or explosive.

Let’s put all that aside for a moment though to look at why teenage “rebellion” is actually perfectly in line.

Posted in Parents: Permission to Be Imperfect

The Best Way to Deal with Teenage Rebellion

April 09, 2018

Many parents dread the teen years. They’ve heard negative, even scary, stories for years. As a culture, we’ve got teens pegged—out-of-control, disrespectful, and rebellious. Time for a change of perspective.

Just when our teens need us the most, they focus more on peers. Yet, this tendency does not displace the primary relationship teens have with their parents.

Time to understand how to create a strong teen parent connection! Time for hacking the teen brain. 

Posted in Parents: Permission to Be Imperfect, Parenting Favorites

Employee Attrition: Why Companies Are Losing Dedicated and Talented Employees

April 05, 2018

We’ve all seen it happen: A worker is excelling on the job. Her skill set is an ideal match, she understands and excels at her tasks; she takes initiative, actively furthers company goals, and genuinely seems interested in the work. Then she leaves. Everything seemed like a wonderful fit, and at the same time, no one feels they can fault her for wanting to explore her potential elsewhere.

As an employer, employee attrition is a hard—and often discouraging—situation to watch happening inside your company. Whether you run an industry office, cutting-edge software company or a startup, hiring [...]

Posted in Leadership and Business

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